Not a Life
i officially so missed my besties.
i missed Tyaz for the days where i never ever even think i had a problem. i miss the atmosphere of friendship and the pat in the back that always supported me back then. the fact is that now she finds it so hard to keep patting me on the back. not that i blame her. it's just... no time and sometimes it just.... hard to keep stories with her when it seems like i had a thousand stories to share.
i missed Wiramihardja for the days of our late-skype-nite. i missed the way he asked me about his essay n i sent him my Psych Report. i missed him for his brainstorming advice and the look on his face each time i asked him to put on a smile. he used to set my feet back on earth and came clear about reality when all i do is dreaming way too high. again, not that i blame him either. in fact i'm happy now that he (finally, after the longest time ever) has a date, and that's a guarantee for securing his social life (hahahaa...).
i missed Crystal for daydreaming with her. for a comfort run to the bookstore, for a long and never ending talk and laughter. she's struggling for her hearts' pieces right now and i feel like an inglorious bastard (watch me Tal, that's bastard not basterd... XD ) each time she texted me and knowing i couldnt reply hers. sometimes late at nite, i woke up and prayed that she's fine. that she wont be awaken becoz of her nightmare, and moreover, when i cant comfort her enough. (sigh).
i missed Karina, Aloii n Bom2. i havent seen them in like forever. i missed the laughters we share, i missed the jokes and i missed their silliness. i missed their everything's-gonna-be-alrite-all-u-have-to-do-is-laugh-with-us-so-come-come-here look on their faces. i missed them like crazy, i do.
and moreover, i missed him.
this one is the strangest thing. i hear his voice everyday and it just takes like ten minutes walk to his place, but it feels like it's been ages since our last "talk". i missed him for our quality time. for the longgggg talk and stories, for the hugs and smiles. not that we dont talk. we do. i mean, why did Bell invented phone for?? but it's just different when u call just to let you know where u are, whatcha up to and when u call just to share some stories. he doesnt even know i'm entering a writing match! Geez, he's my boyfriend and i havent had the TIME yet to tell him i'm taking one step further in reaching my dreams.
and my dreams? yeah rite.
sometimes i really want to admit that i dream way too much. But not in a thousand years would i really admit that. That's gonna give Wiramihardja a long time laughter and i'm not gonna give him that pleasure... mwahahahahhahaa....
well, it's just.... tiring and exhausting to run after what seems impossible. knowing it's impossible yet i insisted to run for it yet i dont want to give up yet i'm admitting that yes, i'm tired. that's irritating, really. and feels like ironic.
the worst truth is, i dont know how i could tell them i'm not fine with this. i mean, what am i supposed to say? call Tyaz and tell her "yea...i know Yaz, it's not your fault. But i sort of think you dont support me enough anymore. i know, i know, it's just the condition that should be blamed.. but u know Yaz...i'm missing u here." Tyaz would FLY to my place and i'll make her feel as guilty as if she had killed somebody and put the body somewhere faraway and tell everybody that she doesnt know anything.
okay, that's so overreacting...but u get the point. (sigh).
and Wiramihardja? Tell him rightaway that it's officially much easier to get him online when he was single? Geez he would like, "what's wrong with you?" and hey, it's hard for him to manage his study and social time already. so when he got a date it's so natural that i find it harder to find him.
and Crystal? Walk up to her and tell her like, "You know Tal, have you ever feel like screaming the hell 'WHERE is EVERYBODY??" when maybe she is the one who would gladly tell me, "Hello? where were u when i texted u..?"
and....him....?
i... i dont know, really.
sometimes it feels like i cant feel myself. and that's not a good feeling.
i wish i could just sleep this away and wake up with everything back to normal,
that i dont have to wake up 3 in the morning and post an entry to my blog just to confess that i feel so lonely and cant tell my besties and my boyfriend that i feels lonely. and the worst part is that i dont know how to tell them i MISSED you all with every single cell in my body.
i'd trade anything just to have EVERY SINGLE ONE of you here by my side.
if it wasnt too late for beg Santa for a wish, then i wish Santa would pop Tyaz from Jogja, Crystal from Bali, Wiramihardja from Berkeley, Aloii-Karina-Bum2 from their house and him from his house here to my room, where i could throw my body to their hugs, where i know they would erase my tears, where i know they would look at me asking "what did u do now?", where i know i'm safe, where i could kiss him, and where i could tell them i missed them, i loved them, and it's not a life when they are not here.
happy Christmas...
The Warriors Reminder
btw kali ini gw milih template yang allow comment buat blog nya... jadi feel free yah kalo mo comment.. di template yang sebelumnya gw (berusaha) masukin tempat buat comment tapi sepertinya jalannya memang kurang direstui dan akhirnya malah bikin tulisan blognya malah gak keluar (gaptek mode: on....) nyahahahahhaa...
anyway gw mao share Warrior Reminder nya Erykah Badu.... kata-katanya inspire me some years ago (...and inspires me again n again everytime i read it) of the true warrior inside every single one of us...
The Warriors Reminder
I am awake
My mind is free
I am Creative
I love myself
My will power is strong
I am Brave
I practice patience
I dont judge folks
I give not to receive
I dont expect
I accept
I listen more than I talk
I know I'll change
I know you'll change
I'll hold on one more day
I start over when necessary
I create my own situations
I am cosmic
I dont have the answers
I desire to learn
I am the plan
I am strong
I am weak
I want to grow
I know I will
I take on responsibility
I hide myself from no one
Im on my path
Warriors walk alone
I wont let my focus change
Taking out the demons in my range...
I am awake
My mind is free
I am Creative
I love myself
My will power is strong
I am Brave
I practice patience
I dont judge folks
I give not to receive
I dont expect
I accept
I listen more than I talk
I know I'll change
I know you'll change
I'll hold on one more day
I start over when necessary
I create my own situations
I am cosmic
I dont have the answers
I desire to learn
I am the plan
I am strong
I am weak
I want to grow
I know I will
I take on responsibility
I hide myself from no one
Im on my path
Warriors walk alone
I wont let my focus change
Taking out the demons in my range...
di lagu ini, erykah ngga cuma bilang power nya warriors, tapi dia juga cerita soal weak nya mereka. gw rasa, true warriors itu tahu kekuatan mereka, tapi mereka juga inget kalo mereka punya kelemahan.
so, wherever n whoever you are, you are a true warrior yourself. you just have to wake that warrior up... :)
This Christmas
jadi.... Christmas is coming...!!hohohohoho....~
kebetulan, nyokap gw yang ternyata adalah orang-yang-nggak-sadar-dengan-sense-artistik-nya-sendiri menempatkan pohon itu pas banget sama lampu sorot kecil warna kuning di ruang keluarga di rumah gw.... setelah gw poto dan gw tunjukkin ke nyokap, dia cuma mengerutkan kening dan bilang, "hah? itu di ruang keluarga? kok gordennya begitu ya..?"
GUBRAK. yang dia liat malah gordennya yang padahal menurut gw nggak kenapa2... yasudahlah.. emang instingnya ibu-ibu rumah tangga kali... mwahahahahhaa...
gw..... amat sangat suka duduk di sofa pas malem-malem *untung orang rumah gw kalo tidur kaya hewan piaraannya pak tani di sawah,, jadi nggak ada yang ngeliat gw autis...ngahahahahahhaa....* dan ngeliatin lampu di pohon natalnya kelap-kelip pelan-pelan.... lampu rumah semua mati cuma lampu kuning kecil itu aja yang nyala.... rasanya..... lembut....hangat.... reminds me of the christmas i used to have with my family....
karena satu dan lain hal... rasanya natal tahun ini beda aja (mostly karena bokap gw sakit yah....) dan.... yah harus diakui emang gak se-anget dulu.... jadi... duduk di sofa itu, sendirian, malem-malem (autis..autis... mwakakakakak... XD ) liat lampu di suasana yang setenang itu... it brings back a lot of memories..... :)
di sofa ini juga, dua tahun yang lalu, gw mulai deket ama si kucing. gw inget, di sofa ini, sambil liat pohon natal yang sama, gw sms an ama si kucing non-stop ampe pagi (jangan tanya kenapa bisa begitu...gw juga ngga ngerti...) sambil berdoa, kalo orang ini bakal ngerayain Christmas bareng gw tahun depan, dan tahun depannya lagi, dah tahun depannya lagi.....
dan.... here i am... with two year almost passed... :)
gw sejujurnya agak2 cemas sama natal tahun ini...
cemas mikirin pesan natalnya....
cemas mikirin gw mo ngasihin apa buat bokap, nyokap, ade2 gw and si kucing...
cemas mikirin resolusi gw buat taon depan...
entah kenapa kok gw merasa natal tahun ini penuh kecemasan....
yang, seharusnya kan penuh kegembiraan....
tapi.... entah kenapa gw juga punya feeling kuat kalo something good will happen this christmas....
unexpected.... itu sih kayanya kata-kata yang tepat buat gambarin natal ini...
btw yah, si kucing lagi tepar di rumahnya... dasar kuciing ga seruuuu...!!
lagi liburan dia malah sakit... myahahahahaha... yasudahlah, yasudahlah... gw cuma (akhirnya) rela membiarkan dia tidur luamuaaaaa bangettt biar sakitnya cepet sembuh n kita bisa maen lagi bareng2....
biar ga sama-sama bosen... cobain deh niy Pesonality Test nya ala Dalai Lama.... ngahahahahaha....
gw dapet link nya dari tumblr nya si Crystal....
klik aja di tulisan Tibetan Test nya dia, di post tgl 12 dec... n have fun...!! :P
gw yang amazing gtu ngeliat test nya.... abis bener sih... mwakakakakakaka....
hv fun with ur life folks... ^^
rey:
feel free to use the words n image, but please respect my artworks by credited them back to me n this blog.... thankyou....
rey:
2 days ago, on December 19th i celebrated my year-and-half anniversary with A..!!
so then i made this picture n wrote the words. that totally reflected what i feel inside, because it's true, i never ever could control my heartbeat when i see him comes closer approaching me. or when he looked me in the eye. or when he kissed my forehead. that crazy heart beating never stop and there are ALWAYS butterflies in my stomach.
normal people wud feel that in like..their first two or three months together than it will disappear right?
seems i'm so not normal...
hahaha.... :)
but i feel happy with that so i think it's okay... XD
THANKYOU!
@ andini.tiya...
@ Lenny...
-dear Lenny...should u have ur own page, please let me know so i could link u back... thankyou... :P
thanks for following, gurls...
stay tuned... :)
One Warm Feeling
Funny, it's raining heavily outside..
mild..chill..
but i feel warm inside...
i recognize this warm feeling...
there are...things...that are hard to explained by words..
it just sitting a while outside and let the rain brush my hair and skin....
instead of being cold i felt warm.
inside the rain,
i remembered how Tyaz and me spent our time at High School... that even we're apart,, somehow we're connected... the memories just come like a rush of peaceful feeling and realizing i always have a place like her to run to, it'scomforting.... that is Warm Number One...
inside the rain,
i remembered how scared i was when leaving High School for Atma. And then, i met this amazing people here. Aloiina, Rintak, Bombina n Dee... i could never thank them enough for supporting me here... they make me stand my ground, i could not say "hardest time" because they were there make it always easier...
There are classes i need to got minimal a "B" to survive, that's not a fun fact, really. But then, again, Bombi said, "We'll be here. No worries."
that day, she said it just like a normal conversation. i bet she even forgot she told me that.
but then again..... it's warm....
and through dizziness everyday,, i know Aloii would be there and share fine n warm laughters like no one else could give me an opportunity like that to express the laughters...
and, even tough troubles are everywhere, Rintak wud never ever let anything hurt me deeper than she could hug me. Her hug always go deeper than any pain. it's like magic....and it is warm.... thats Warm Number Two
inside the rain,
i remembered that back then, there was Wiramihardja with his silly words and attitude, with his smart n short solution, with his annoying attitude n i cant help but laugh when that lead him to more troubles.
yes, he's far away. yes, he got someone to talk to now everyday, but i dont feel like he's using me when he was alone. not at all.
instead, i feel warm....
warm knowing he's also feel warm....
i think, there are friends like Aloii, Rintak, Bombi n Dee who are clearly visible everyday, but there are "star friends" who are not visible everyday, but yea, you know they are there.
it feels warm... remembering that all i need is text.
it's warm, because it's a look-alike kind of friendship with Tyaz.
a friendship that wont be forgotten by time.
a friendship that last. Warm Number Three.
inside the rain,
i remembered Crystal has always been the first who cares to anythin happened to me. somehow she has ALWAYS known what's happening to me, n she'll ask right away.
my problems are hers n hers are mine.
you just have to feel it someday.
that warmth, when you know, friendship has nothing to do with time n distance.
it matters of one soul dwelling in two bodies. That's Warm Number Four
inside the rain, i figured out the warmest warmth.
i remembered how i used to ask God,
"Why J, why do You create something called "love" when i cant understand it any bit...?"
n i see how warm it is now, for having A here. his presence, even when he just say nothing and juz look me in the eye........
i know i'm safe.
and through every single thing. i mean it, every single little thing, he's there. making sure i'm warm and happy and safe.
sometimes, i feel like God has given me too much blessing by sending him here, right beside my side...
for every touch,
every hugs,
every moment.....
it's........warm...
knowing that i have him here, to share everything, pain, anger, sadness, laughters, joy, faith, dreams, you name it! it's warm.... it really is....
i know i would face the world just fine with him here...
i find it the hardest to explain his warm compared to explaining the others' warm... because....
it's something that..............
i really cant find any words to describe..........
how warm it is.....
maybe someday,
you just have to feel it to understand.
dear God,
you've given me an unperfect life...
but you've given me...
perfect people to live this unperfect life,
every.
single.
day.
for that J........
thankyou.....................
(Not) a Mere Dreamer
Gw jatuh cinta sama Mac Taylor of Crime Scene Investigation: New York...
kyaaaa....kyaaaa...!!
:P
dan jatuh cinta juga sama the rest of the team....
ughhh... Mac Taylor tuu yaaah... he's damn cool...
i'm so dead deh kalo liat dia...
mwakakakakakakak.....
the show, CSI: NY, ceritanya setting di crime lab, yang, seperti namanya terdengar,
isinya adalah...... crime lab. *merasa bego.
intinya mereka orang-orang science (gosh. statistik gw D en gw berharap masuk science. -.-") *putus asa* yang kerja di bagian forensic.
Ato, bisa juga orang-orang social (yaaayyy...!!) yang ambil Criminal Justice di college, which was, my dream, only God didnt let me in. *sigh....
if i to speak my passion in life, that would be Criminal Justice. Yang, sayangnya harus diambil di luar negeri.... kalo mo diinget2 lagi rasanya miris... i was so close buat ke sana... but... things happened, and funny, i dont regret the way i am now. the way i stuck with Psychology.. :P and the way i'm still right here in beloved Indonesia...
not in NY, as i wanted to be.. hahaha...!! XD
Criminal Justice, adalah cita-cita dan mimpi yang dulu ngga pernah berani gw ungkap. Takut omongan miring orang-orang, takut dikatain konyol, takut dikatain ngga realistis.
and sometimes, i feel it IS NOT realistic.
and often, i feel it DOES ridicolous.
Ato lebih parah lagi, takut dikatain kena CSI Effect, hanya karena gw terpesona dengan CSI then i wanna be one of them.
that is so wrong. inspiration could come from anywhere. Mbah Pavlov
juga ngga nyangka kok kalo Demitrie, anjingnya lah yang bakal jadi inspirasi salah satu teori besar dalam Psikologi tentang cara mengajari sesuatu ke orang lain.
Buat yang peasaran... ini looh yang namanya Pavlov.....
......dan doggy nya, Demitrie....
kok nyasarnya jadi jauh begini ya.
balik, balik...
iyah, jadi, orang yang kepada dialah pertama kali gw m
engakui impian gw adalah: teteterertetetetetttt...!!!
Bokap gw.
yak, terus terang itu lebih ke arah karena mau ngga mau i gotta tell him gw mo melangkah kemana, secara sudah kelas 3 SMA dan graduation sudah di depan mata dan gw ngga menunjukkan ketertarikan di bidang beli-beli formulir kampus seperti yang seharusnya anak kelas 3 SMA normal lakukan.
ugh. kenapa gw selalu merasa ngga normal..??
gw (dengan takut-takut and gelisah) mengutarakan keinginan gw ke bokap gw. Gw ngga pernah ngerasa segelisah itu sebelumnya kalo ngomong ma bokap. dan reaksi bokap gw?
"Oke. Got any idea where u would learn that subject...?"
gw: Bengong.
bokap: itu...er...apa ya..? jadi polisi begitu...? papi aga ngga ngerti tadi penjelasan kamu (sambil nyetir, ngga liat gw bengong)
gw: bengong
bokap: emang kamu maunya beneran jadi polisi?
gw: (sadar) i'm not a field cop ran for thieves dad. it sorta lookin for the evidence. and fingerprinting. and those tech.
bokap: (ngangguk2)
gw: diijinin kah?
bokap: why not? run for it girl.
gw: BENGONG SEPANJANG HARI.
next few weeks, waktu gw dah dapet sekolah, agent dan bahkan dapet daftar pelajarannya,, intinya bokap tinggal tanda tangan en bayar,
bokap gw kena stroke.
that.................
change everything.
dan kalo mau tau rasanya mimpi kalian hancur di depan mata, setelah akhirnya kalian berani mengutarakannya, dan unexpectedly, bokap kalian nggak merasa itu sesuatu yang konyol, that left you empty n hurt.
damn damn damn damn.......
yah, itu sekitar 2 tahun yang lalu. dan seperti yang gw bilang, gw yang sekarang sama sekali ngga menyesali keberadaan gw yang akhirnya nggak bisa ngambil CJ...
God help me rebuilt my life, rediscover my dream, dan gw ngebiarin Dia menuntun gw buat ngeliat the reason why everything turn this way. Percaya ato nggak, kalo kalian bilang i'm gonna re-found my dream again 2 taon lalu, gw bakal hanya bisa ngeliat kalian dengan senyum lemah, an appreciation buat usaha kalian menghibur gw. Gw, hampir ngga percaya kalo gw bakal bisa nemuin mimpi laen di sini.
but.
i DO find my dream.
Gw sekarang lagi berusaha nyelesai in S1 Psikologi gw secepat mungkin... ada field yang namanya Forensic Psychology and i'm running my path to that place... :P
percaya ato ngga juga, God meet me with si kucing, tepat di saat-saat kritis bokap gw, di saat-saat gw merasa living was so empty...di saat-saat gw ngerasa, i have no dream anymore, ato keberanian buat sekali lagi punya mimpi, karena takut bakal ancur lagi.
kalo. kalo yah.
kalo gw beneran cabut ke luar back then, mungkin gw nggak kenal si kucing.
dan mungkin gw nggak akan mengalami "rasa" luar biasa yang gw, selamanya, nggak bakal bisa menjelaskan how wonderful feeling it is.
beyond imagination.
beyond any dream...
a blessing........
Jalan ke Forensic Psych bukan sesuatu yang gampang. Tapi,, gw berdoa ma Babeh... supaya in every step i take, i take it with Him. Gw pengen, Indonesia juga punya satu sistem Criminal Justice (Forensic, Evidence System, Criminal Profilinf, Database System) yang oke. Gw pengen ilmu itu bisa diterapin disini, sukur-sukur akirnya ada jurusan CJ di Indonesia. And inspirate and encourage and help thousand others di Indonesia buat berbagi mimpi, cita-cita en tujuan yang sama.
kedengeran konyol kah...? dan nggak realistis...?
yeah... i admit that... :)
tapi, tetep menurut gw, Nidji bener dengan bilang kalo mimpi itu kunci buat kita menaklukan dunia... XD
tanpa mimpi, kita nggak bakal bisa maju.
tanpa kita bermimpi, dunia bakal maju tapi kita bakal tetep.
tanpa berusaha mewujudkan mimpi, semuanya yah sama juga boong.
Gw juga jatuh cinta sama iPhone 3gS... gyaaa
aa...gyaaaa....!!
...dan Mac Book...!! kyaaaaaaa...... ~
..........n do i have the money to buy them?
ngga...hahahahahaa.....
tapi, gw menolak buat nyerah. i'll find my way... ^^ someday i'll get a hold of that iPhone n Mac...
:)
I'm a dreamer. i love daydreaming.
but i'm not a mere dreamer.
i run for my dream.
lari, lari, lari lebih cepet, lebih cepet, dan lebih cepet lagi.
pemimpi, tapi, with God besides me, gw akan jadi pemimpi yang mewujudkan mimpi gw...!!
Ameen....
Have You Seen My Childhood?
Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like pirates in adventurous dreams,
Of conquest and kings on the throne...
Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like pirates in adventurous dreams,
Of conquest and kings on the throne...
Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?
Tiba-tiba gw kepikiran sama Michael Jackson.
Sosok dia, mengingatkan gw ke CD lagu pertama (dan satu-satunya, sepanjang yang bisa gw inget,) yang dikasih sama bokap ke gw, yang ngomong-ngomong waktu itu masih umur sekitar 10 tahun.
Gw ngga begitu inget alesan bokap ngasih CD History: Past, Present and Future ke gw yang jelas ga ngerti apa-apa soal Michael Jackson dan jelas juga, d
engan kemampuan English yang serba terbatas, yang jelas juga, hanya melihat MJ sebagai sosok berpakaian bling-bling yang ngga ada malu-malunya jogat-joget di panggung.tapi.
ada sesuatu yang gw inget tapi gw lupa.
nah loh. bingung kah?
sama gw juga...
muahahahahaa... gw sering kaya gitu tuh ma si kucing... apa yang ada di pikiran sih ngerti...tapi nyampein nya nggak ngerti gimana caranya. akhirnya jadi sama-sama bingung deh.. wuakakakakak....
okay. sampe mana tadi gw ngomong? oh iya, MJ.
gw inget, bokap ngasih tuh CD sengan tampang yang seneng. gw inget bau atmosfir nya, rasa suasananya, inget baju yang bokap pake, gw inget semua detail kecil dari hari dimana bokap ngasih tuh CD ke gw. kecuali satu. ada satu hal yang gw lupa.
bokap ngomong sesuatu ke gw waktu dia ngasih CD itu.
dan gw ga inget sama sekali apa yang dia bilang. tapi sekarang, 9 tahun kemudian, gw, di sini, di depan komputer, tengah malem, sunyi-sepi, dengan semua lagu MJ berkumandang..dengan keadaan bokap gw stroke.....
rasanya waktu tu bokap pasti bilang sesuatu yang penting....
something important but forgotten.
sad, karena gw ga bisa tanya ma bokap apa yang dia bilang ke gw waktu itu.
fuuuuh....
*menarik nafas panjang2...
sekarang, kalo denger2 lagu2 nya MJ begini....
really.... it feels close.
kayanya perasaan "hangat" begini,, perasaan yang gw rasain tiap kali denger lagunya MJ... udah lamaaaaaa banget ga gw rasain. kaya long-lost feeling gitu.
gw ngga ngerti itu either way karena:
1. MJ gw asosiasikan dengan salah satu musik fav bokap gw (selain Ging Gang Gooly... wahahahaha....) makanya gw ngerasa dekettt bgtt ma sosok satu ini... ato karena,
2. MJ nya udah moonwalk di alam sana,, makanya feeling "merinding" nya lebih berasa....(serasa diliatin sama orangnya dari "sana". buset. serem aja. hyahahahaha...) ato karena,
3. Gw emang suka aja ama lagunya MJ...
entahlah. tapi... denger lagu2 nya.. apalagi ini nih, Childhood, kayanya... gw jadi inget banyak hal. Gw inget, waktu bokap ngasih History ke gw, gw puter mulu tuh CD,, ga bosen-bosen... dan dari sekian banyak lagu, yang nempel banget di gw itu lagu Heal The World. gw bilang ama bokap gw, gw suka lagu itu karena suara MJ halus baangettt di situ. dan gw juga inget, bokap gw tanya, gw ngerti apa ngga arti tuh lagu. yang langsung gw jawab dengan cepat:
nggak.
hakkakakakakak...
gw juga nggak ngerti kenapa juga sebenernya gw nulis ini.
rasanya ngga penting juga,
tapi gw berprinsip kalo menulis itu ngga harus penting khan...?
so i write what it is inside my head...
sekarang, setelah udah gede dan lebih ngerti dikit tentang bahasa inggris, musik dan dance... gw jadi makin seneng. suaranya MJ bisa yang kaya di Beat It ato Thriller ato They Dont Really Care About Us.... tapi bisa as soft as Heal The World, Childhood dan bisa sekeren di Billie Jean and Smooth Criminal.
he's the king...
huahahahahaha...
moreover, atmosfir hangatnya itu loh. yeah...emang...mungkin itu sedikit-banyak karena gw selalu ngait in MJ ma bokap sih...karena kayanya rata2 orang dengerin MJ bawaannya pengen bergoyang2..goyang2 kepala dikit..goyang2 kaki n tangan..goyan..goyang...goyaaang....bukannya malah senyum2 berasa anget kaya gw..
hyahahahaha...
.........MJ,, i lift my glass for you...
:)
p.s.
cant wait for This Is It rehearsal. on cinema, oct 28th 2009, 2 weeks only on air...
^^
This is it, MJ's final show.
Pengertian
maybe God trusts me too much with life...
gw bener-bener ngira kalo gw dan dia (iya, dia, si kucing itu) sudah sama-sama punya tingkat pengertian yang tinggi.... dan kenyataannya adalah:
masih begitu banyak hal yang perlu kita masing-masing pelajari.
kadang2... gw ngerasa aneh. sangat aneh....
entah memang seperti itulah Babe menciptakan cewe n cowo (yang begitu amat sangat berbeda hampir dalam semua hal...)
ato cuma gw aja yang emang ngga tau caranya menjalani sebuah hubungan..
kadang2... gw juga mikir,, kok bisa yah Babe di Atas sana masangin gw ama si kucing... emang banyak. BANYAK bangett kok kesamaannya... nyambung sekali nge jokes nya... enakk bangett ngobrolnya.... asyik banget curhat-curhatnya.... dan..... DAHSYAT sekali cuma SATU perbedaannya.
oke. lebay.
banyak juga kok perbedaan.
maksud gw adalah: PERBEDAAN yang SATU ini TERLALU AMAT SANGAT MENDASAR BEDANYA...!!
*ngos2 an karena ngomel2...
yang, di counter balik sama temen sakti gw, Karina,, dengan bilang
"so what gtu kalo lw begitu? dan so what juga kalo dia nya begini? yang penting kan pengertian kalian berdua..."
hmm..masuk akal.... *ngangguk2 sambil elus2 jenggot....
pengertian.
P-E-N-G-E-R-T-I-A-N...
seharian ini gw ngeja kata itu terus2 an dalam hati gw....
satu kata cilik yang bener2 penting ternyata dalam hubungan 2 orang...
sesuatu yang gw kira udah kami punya,, yang ternyata masiy harus dikembangin lagi..
alasan kenapa Karina and Anto dah luamuaaaa bgttt ga brantem2 lagi,, mungkin karena dua-duanya dah master dalam hal pengertian...
akirnya gw ngomong puanjang lebarr ma si kucing..
dan dia juga ngomong puanjuang lebarr ma gw..
memang,, masalah kami udah lewat stage 1: sangat sangat sangatt berlaku keterbukaan antara gw dan dia..
tapi masiy nyangkut di stage 2: perlu PENGERTIAN yang daleeemmmm antara berdua..
dan akhirnya, gw n dia setuju ma kata2 Karina...
pengertian, gw rasa, mulai dengan penerimaan n rasa percaya..
ngalahin ego masing2...
bertindak BUKAN sesuai dengan emosi kita,,
tapi NYESUAI in emosi dia...
hihihihii...
hari ini...
selain dapet satu poin baru ama si kucing...
gw diijinin sama Babe..buat bersyukur.......
buat punya sahabat-sahabat.......
yang pelukannya anget..yang kata2 nya nge damai in.... yang rasa pedulinya selangit...
bahkan waktu dua diantara mereka cuma diem.....
diem n pelukan mereka...tepukan di bahu gw n senyum ngerti....
.........................
kaya........
HARTA KARUN!!
I'm the happiest luckiest girl in the world...
love my besties...
love my ciing....
Thanks God I Found U all....
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