A Friend Like Her
Today is the last day of Hamakaze Festival at my university. I was planning on giving you all a full report about the festival today but something happened that grasp my full attention and this was far more important, much much more important than Hamakaze Festival. I would still LOVE to write about the Hamakaze festival of course, just maybe not today. :D :D
Today I was attending a meeting for a volunteer program at the uni and i received a mail from a very dear friend. She had a good news, her father has passed all tests to work at Finland, a place so far away i could only imagine how could I ever see her again. But her family has been through a lot of things until they heard this good news and it is really really hard not to be happy for her.
I was happy, but a sting of pain quickly attacked me, replacing the happiness i felt before. When she said she'll be going to Finland, that means when I got back home to Indonesia, she will not be there. For a pretty long time I just stand still, I'm so afraid that if i move, i'll lose control of myself and will burst into tears.
She was, a best friend whose place is irreplaceable.
She was, someone i count in whenever i need a good laugh.
She was, someone i'll run to whenever i need to be heard.
She was, someone who turns everything into comedy, live in action and i missed her jokes, her stupid face and expression, her innocent words that make me and my other dearest girls laugh our day off.
She was, someone who believes in me, anytime i dont believe in myself.
She was, someone who faithfully reminds me of everything i need to remember, almost act like a personal agenda and someone who are not good enough on expressing things with words, but still has her message clearly delivered.
If it werent for her, maybe i wont sit here in the one of the most fabolous country existed in the world. I wont be here in Japan should she was not there with me along the process of my scholarship application.
she was there, from the point i wrote my CV and letter of application to the point i had to do the interview.
she was there, together re-read my application and watch me re-write it again and helped me handle all of my other important task: registering cclasses at the uni etc while i'm cracking my head on what to write.
she was there, staying with me while i'm waiting for my turn to get the interview and slowly losing confidence and was actually deciding to just give it up and go home. she was there, to pat my back and held my hand and reassuring me every single minute that i was worth it.
If it werent for her, maybe i havent yet finished my first chapter of undergraduate theses and still be like a zombie and not sure what i will write and how do i even start.
she was there, glaring at me every time i got lazy, and be there when we together share the stress, the excitement, the anger, the tears, the....... food. :)
to list moments i had with her and things i treasure forever is like an endless thing to do. because they were just TOO much.
I often think, why do God always meet me up with these special persons, only for me to learn that there has to be another goodbye between us.
i am sad. i thought i could use a better time with her. i am sad, to think that her face wont be there when i got back home. i am sad, to think that this last year i wont share her birthday, Christmas, New Year, Graduation..... i wont even be there when she left to Finland. and altough i heart her so deep that i thought it would be good for her to go, to find new experiences, to have some more adventures........... i still..................................
i'm trying so hard to believe that everything is going to be allright, that there are lots of way of communicating and that friendship is one of those little things that is untouchable by time, unchangeable by distance... still.. i feel so............ sad.
suddenly i thought that going to Japan is not really the best decision.
suddenly i thought, that being here... cost me too much sacrifices.
i wish i was stronger, but perhaps i am this weak.
perhaps, things cant be allright anymore.
Nikkou: Kegon no Taki
Hello again everyone!! :D
Time went so fast and it's been almost two months here in Japan. I'm still struggling with the language but people around me make it really fun to learn. I had nice teachers who showed me how much they wanted to help us learn. I had nice friends who supports me, reminding me of home works and tests and we learn together and I'm really really happy.
So, as most school in Japan, my campus hosted a school trip for us and we went to Nikkou two days ago. It was good for them, because plenty of us have been planning to launch an attack to the headmaster of KANDA because they keep cutting off our holidays. It was literally NATIONAL holiday in Japan and they forced us to come in and attend classes. xD xD
The trip was planned by the level 4 students (I'm in level 1, please stop asking that. Mwahahaha.. :D :D), with votes from everyone in Bekka.We were offered the choices of going to Yokohama, Nikkou or Mount Fuji. The vote goes for Nikkou (yaaaay!!).
There was a waterfall named Kegon no taki (taki is the Japanese word for waterfall) and it was one of three most beautiful waterfalls in Japan. And I could not agree more. The view was simply breathtaking, beautiful, peaceful and I really cant take my eyes off the bea
uty of the waterfall and the surroundings area.See? This was BEAUTIFUL.
It was only because of this stupid traffic jam that we were running so late of schedule and we spent only so little time here. My two senseis, Tokunaga Sensei and Takeda Sensei nearly had to drag me. Because, don't blame me, but witnessing God's painting on this mountaino
us area is WAY TOO amazing. You can not just stand there for 15 minutes and then leave! It was........ magnificently beautiful.
it was Aki (autumn) already here in Japan and the leaves is starting to change color. they made beautiful gradation of yellow, faded green, red and orange on the mountain, on the waterfall's surrounding and everywhere in the streets of Nikkou. It was rather cold out theere but I enjoyed myself so much there. It was so beautiful and peaceful and i think i'm running out ofwords to describe how.......... splendid it was in Nikkou. I closed my eyes and i could smell the leaves, felt the wind playing softly with my hair, heard the sound of the water and c
ompletely lost myself, blending in with the surroundings.
.................and that was exactly when Takeda sensei called on me and laughed and said i was so slow. I was, well, i really couldnt speak Japanese that good but by that time I really wanted to
tell him that you cant bring someone to a place like this, take photographs in ten to fifteen minutes then urged her to leave right away. It was a TORTURE, seriously, to leave that place so fast. Well it wasn't at all his fault, I understand, but i wish.. really wished we could stay longer.
Speaking of Takeda sensei, he was my Enshuu class teacher. He was very very very nice to us and his classes were always interesting. Never did I feel sleepy nor bored each time I attend his classes. He was cheerful and passionate and was very kind and patient, attentive and tried his best to understand his students.
That morning he sat near our meeting point at the campus, and, well maybe i was just really sleepy that i almost mistaken him as a student..!
Hahahahaha... It was because he wasn't wearing shirts and he took off his glasses, he didin't look
like a teacher at all. At least 3 of my friends had the same reaction with me when they looked at him. Their reaction (in different time) could be something like this:
"OMG. Is THAT your sensei, seriously?"
"Whoa! Rey! He is DIFFERENT."
"He's a sensei? No way you're kidding me!"
I was just laughing. Thank God i was so sleepy that i didn't
greet everyone like i used to do everyday, or else i could go and say things like, "Hey, good
morning! we're going to nikkou, aint you feel so excited about this?" to Takeda Sensei which literally not polite at all.
So can you guess which one is he in this photograph?
So then, we took so many photographs and by the time i got back to the dorm i was really happy when i saw the photographs.
This is me and Nayara. She came from Brazil and we are in the same level and classes in KANDA. I LOVE her soo much! She teaches me a lot of Portuguese and she is the kind of friend who always makes you feel good whenever you are togeth
er.
This is me with Estela, Nayara, Leandro and Maru-senpai. I've been really good friends with Stel, Nay and Leandro and i HEART them so much. Being Brazilians, they were all very attentive and caring and value togetherness and they are very nice,
open and they were so very friendly. It was great to meet them and I am really happy.
So that concludes my trip to Kegon no Taki, a place where for the first time in Japan, i feel so much back in touch with nature and i was really really happy. For you who someday visit Japan, please make sure you stop by Nikkou, and see this waterfall.
I really need some sleep right now and I hope you guys have a good night. Kisses from the stars! Hug your loved ones tonight! I'll see you all soon. :3
21st
On my 14th birthday, my dad was not home. But there was mum and my family and definitely my friends and although it was a bit lonely, i was happy still.
On my 15th birthday, i think, Kevin was not here in Indonesia. I think the year after that he was back to Indonesia and left to USA exactly one day before my 16th birthday. But my family was there, and so were my other great friends and I didnt think i was lonely at all. Afterall, Kevin was almost always the first one to greet me birthday and I never thought he would forget.
On my 17th birthday, my father was hospitalized, it was his third day at the hospital because of the damn stroke thing and he was almost crying, looking at me on my 17th birthday holding cake from my classmates but nothing from him.
Yet it was my one memorable birthdays. They said 17 was special. Girls in Indonesia usually had this blazing sweet seventeenth birthday party in a restaurant with fancy candles and clothes and invitation. When i was in 2nd grade of senior high, every month there would be a celebration and party and party and party all year. sometimes i even got two or three invitations for the same day.
but yet again, my 17th birthday was still a calm and peaceful birthday. friends and family surrounded me and there was my father, lying on his sickbed, almost crying because he kinda want to do something for me but he just couldnt and i couldnt think of any birthday present more precious than that. Now that he is gone, i would do anything to came back to that very precious moment and hold him even tighter.
after 17, people said 21 is also the other special age. In Indonesia mostly 21 is the coming age for boys. for me.............. 21st birthday is rather special because i turned 21st on the 21st of September and that only happened once. And God could never be more specific on emphasizing the meaning of "special" in my life. God always has His way about this.
This year it was special because, like i said before, i turned 21st on the 21st September.
This year it was special because, I was not with friends and family at all this year..
This year it was special because, I was in Japan, and being in Japan is special, because i've been dreaming of going to this place for like all of my life.
This year it was special because, dad was gone and this is my first birthday without him, and i wasnt even home.
This year.......................................................... could never been better. :)
the morning i turned 21, Kevin sent me a message and LITERALLY stating that he knew this was my first birthday away from home.
Knowing him for a long time, I could say that it was just another unique way of him to show that he knows. that he cares. He was the first one to greet me Happy Birthday and realizing that he never misses my birthday was somehow made me feel relieved.
and then also in the morning A sent me a text to my phone, and it was really kind of him and i was glad, really really glad that at least they didnt forget. That morning i sort of think that no one will remember. no, dont laugh at me, i seriously meant that. it feels like i was eliminated from everybody's memory soon after i left for Japan. and since i havent been close enough with everyone here i sorta of believe they dont even know anything about my birthday and it was not their fault at all.
i just thought it would be......... just sad.
But as always, I was wrong. :')
and this time, I am happy i was wrong.
Early morning Rini knocked my door and she sang the happy birthday song and gave me a gift. it was a mug of Chopper! I have no idea since when did I fell in love with him but well, he's cute and cheerful and cute again.. ngahahahahhaa...
okay, okay. and so i was really happppppy with this mug of Chopper and i would soon upload the pictures so you could share the happiness!
it was really kind of Rini and i was really really so very very very happy!
so then I walked downstairs and Estela and Jenni hugged me and gave me cellphone chains, which I was really really really LOVE! and I was absolutely happy! Stel also gave me some cookies and then Marina gave me an Agenda, and it was really cool because i've been looking for that since like two weeks or so and she remembered and she gave that to me along with a bar of chocolate.
What else could I ask for a birthday?
After that Rini made everyone sing a Happy Birthday song with different languages and Oneechan (Teng Senpai, a senior of mine in the dorm) gave me her presents. It was a hairpin with a birthday card and I was BEYOND happy. To be here and to have so many friends who love me and care for me, I am such a lucky girl. :') It was really hard not to cry because I didnt even imagine that i will have such a sweet birthday..
And it wasnt all. I checked my emails and everything and there is this video Aloince made for me as a birthday present and tears were all rounding in my eyes. If I havent remember that there were a lot of people sitting around me i might've just cry out loud. Loince made a video with Remember Me This Way as the background song (nicely done Loince, you just know how to touch my weakest point) and the video shows collection of pictures from our first months at the college untill moments to where they went with me to the airport.
Bombice also made something special. she made a pretty long video of herself talking to me and i couldnt help but responded like it was really her in front of me. i laughed with her, answering her questions, scream out loud when she talked about Yessung oppa (yes, that cute Super Junior member) and I was....................
it was them.
and they never changed a bit, this girls. It was really like if I were there with them and they made my birthday............ special. They are actually the MAIN people who make my birthday is so very far from lonely.
After that Veli also sent me a poem, in which i found so many feelings she tried hard to express. and found courage and i felt so grateful, that this birthday turns out to be one of the happiest birthday I ever had. God never let me walk alone.
Soon after Cindy also sent me picture she edited by herself, along with a poem and her poem touches my heart. I can almost say that I understand everything she wrote and I captured the feelings she would want me to feel. and by being here, with them, I shoudn't even THINK that this is gonna be a lonely birthday. because it was NOT. and it was because of them.
If you have best friends surrounding you, even across the ocean and when you dont have faith in yourself but they still there showing that there are things time and distance could not change,
If one of your whole-life dream is actually coming true and you're living your dream right now,
If you have the chance to connect and relate with people from all over the world,
If there are those who sincerely pray for your happiness, safety and for you to have the courage to go on,
man, your life is good. Sure there are problems here and there, sure you feel lonely every once and a while, sure some things maybe dont go the way you wanted them to, sure people still wrongly judge you and sure at some point life is still not fair.
but it is good. your life is good.
be thankful. :)
this is my reflection of being 21, being away from everybody, being wrong for almost all the time, being wiser after that, being a better girl, being a better me.
thank you to you all, for letting me sipping the merit and joy of life, for you all have add colors in my live, traces in my heart, and joy in my days...
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