The Other Love to Celebrate



Hello folks, meet Dr. Grey and Dr. Yang from Grey's Anatomy! :P oh i love this show...

On your left is Dr. Meredith Grey.. don't mind her face right now.. she usually look pretty charming when she smiles...

and on your right is Dr. Cristina Yang, her bestfriend, someone who is totally 180   degree different from her. :P



The thing is, they are totally different. But they make a very good bestfriend, they lean upon each other, knock some sense to each other, protecting each other, supporting each other. Somehow, looking at them make me feel like i'm so lucky i have my bestfriends. I have Jude as my person. Me and Jude? We could always be Meredith Grey or Cristina Yang, one of them, or both of them. But mostly i'm delighted i have her as my person. We barely talk like "Thankyou for being my friend" or "Lucky I have you", some part of me, i feel like that's just not my style. But then, I do feel lucky. Unlike Grey and Yang, we barely meet. Sometimes we chat or text each other, but the fun thing from a real friendship is: no matter how far you are from each other, no matter how little time you have to meet up, to text each other, but still you would have the very same feeling, of having your bestie as your person.
Sometimes there are things i could not put in words, but Jude seems just understand what i meant. Sometimes, there are alson things i feel like Jude want to tell me, but right before, I've already know what she want to tell me. And, i think, it's the most important thing in friendship. Not exactly how often you meet, but how deep your understanding on each other, and how your bestie makes you feel comfort with yourself.

This morning, I wake up with a really happy feeling, realizing no matter how bad the world could go, I would never be alone.

I realize that, love for couples is not the only love you could celebrate. I could always celebrate the love of me and A, 
but.... the love of friendship...? Now it IS also something to celebrate. It is almost equal in warmth, in happiness, in togetherness, in everything.

Besties make me feel there's nothing can go wrong in the world. as long as i am with them, i am safe. :)
Please folks, value your friendship. because, sometimes maybe it's just all you need:

f r i e n d s h i p.


Meredith told Cristina about her pregnancy

CRISTINA: No way.
MEREDITH: Yeah.
CRISTINA: No freaking way!
MEREDITH: Right?
CRISTINA: Oh my God! Oh, okay. Um, were you trying to?
MEREDITH: No! Total accident. I used the thing.
CRISTINA: Oh, so are we happy about this? Or are we exercising our legal right to choose? [Cristina laughs] Okay, alright! Congratulations! Let’s hug it out. (she  usually HATES hugs. sometimes i feel Jude is a lot like Cristina in hugging department. well, sometimes. hahaha...) 
MEREDITH: [laughs] Okay.
CRISTINA: Oh my God. Are you- Are you- Are you gonna tell him? Have you told him?
MEREDITH: No, I just found out!
[both of their pagers go off]
CRISTINA: Oh, Teddy.
MEREDITH: Derek.
CRISTINA: Well, are you gonna tell him now?
MEREDITH: Yeah.
CRISTINA: Okay.
MEREDITH: How is the Teddy and Owen thing going?
CRISTINA: Oh. Oh, fantastic. It’s going great. I’m completely over it. [breathes and puts her hand on Meredith’s shoulder]This is very adult. I’m really proud of you, Meredith Grey.
MEREDITH: I’m proud of me too?
CRISTINA: Yes. Yes. [laughs]
MEREDITH: Okay.
[They both walk away]
CRISTINA: Hey. I hope it has his hair.
MEREDITH: Me too!

images took from fuckyeahgreysanatomy

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Supporting You All

Supporting people from behind is not really an easy job.

example1:
supporting A whenever he plays his piano in front of public (supporting from behind, like texting him or smiling encouraging him). Why is it hard? because he never looked at me during his performance and/or during his break.
not that i blame him. i actually perhaps would do the same.
still.... -.-"

example2:
supporting Jude when she had to visit his ex's house (supporting OBVIOUSLY from behind, like texting or messaging her on FB). Why is it hard? Because my anxiety level tend to increase, it feels like i am the one who visit my ex's house.
......................
okay, actually it's mainly because Judy transforms into a very annoying girl living on earth when she start play "oh?the-visit?-it's-a-secreeettt....-you-are-dying-to-know-aren't-you?"
hahahahaa.... :P

example3:
supporting  Wiramihardja in whatever he does, wherever he is. (supporting him was never this hard, because he USED to reply my mails. and he USED to online in chat room. and he USED to mail me n tell me his stories). why is it hard? because he, apparently, have no time to share anything anymore, even on his holiday.
i still feel like a bestie, so i think supporting him in continously must be the best way to support him. But, you know, i feel like i wanna smack him down. :P
i miss him, actually.

well... things are pretty busy around. things with school (ahem. college. hahahaha...), things with ice-skating (my coach rocks! i love her!), things with my very own pursuit of happiness and everything else. But i must say.... i am happy. and thanks God for that...really...
........... and for the meantime, i wanna stay happy.

happy long weekend folks..
:)

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Make Your Own Sentence


LOL. i find this on crysterrifc.tumblr.com... i told ya to go visit her page, folks..
mwahahahahaha...
try this yourself...this is real funny!

here's what mine looked like:

I eat more than a basketball and i love it because i just got out of the hospital and i dont know what the hell i do...

mwakakakakkakaka..!!

and A's looked like:
I eat more than a koala and i hate it because i am a transexual

NYAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHA..... *makin ngakak...

and Wiramihardja's looked like:
I think i am a fat cat and i love it because i use facebook

okay, his part looked like a normal one.

mwahahahaa... go try it folks... :P

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This is my third winter in Tokyo. On my first winter, I met Eric. On my second, I dated him. On my third, he left me. I could say I had colorful winters here. Oh, and I haven’t yet introduce myself. My name’s Ai. My full name is too boring to tell, but I like my nick name. Mum said it was Dad who gave that name to me. He never admitted it, tough. I was a first-born in my family, and apparently will be the only child. My parents seemed too busy enjoying their joyful love-life and it seemed they forgot they haven’t yet got a son. They looked so deeply in love. Sometimes I felt so jealous. I was the one with teenager’s age, but they were the ones who enjoyed their love-life like teenagers did. Me? I was stuck with this particular person for three years, who apparently, decided to leave me without a single word. You would at least expect a goodbye.

My computer suddenly buzzed. Yeah, guess who.

Taka: hello there sweetheart.

Me: hey dad.

Taka: Your mum told me you called last night.

This is so my mother. She really had a problem in distinguishing who called who.

Me: I didn’t. She was the one who called.

Taka: That is so her.

Exactly. Get my point? Even my father finally got so used to this bad habit of mum’s.

Taka: Anywy dear, everything ok? I have never seen your mother got so worried of you.

Me: You know her dad. She is always worried. I am… very okay. Well I mean, schools are busy and all but everything else’s fine.

Taka: including your boyfriend?

I WILL KILL MUM. She PROMISED she won’t tell dad. Now I’m stuck with a conversation with my father via chat room, and discussing my love life, who, apparently was his very only daughter, which in turn will increase my father’s possibility of killing Eric or any other guy who dare called me “baby”, “honey” or “sweetheart”.

Me: Dad, privacy please.

I love talked to dad. He was my best friend. I felt much more comfortable talked to him than talked to mum. But, you see… sometimes there were stuffs I wasn’t comfortable to talk to my dad. Like my love life, for example.

Taka: Keishita, listen..—

Whoa. He was calling me Keishita. This is serious.

Taka: I mean, read this carefully. I, of course will always support you, for everything you wanna do, everywhere you wanna go, and anything you wanna be. You have my full support. i.. uh. I might support you.. in whoever you choose to be with you also. But, you are my daughter. You have a home back here. Wherever you go, whatever you do, whoever you are and will be with, you keep this in mind, young lady. You always have to get back home.

I read and read and read all over again his text on my computer screen. I did tell my mother I broke up with Eric. I just didn’t tell her why. This whole broken heart thing for me……. It was just… so difficult. Too difficult to tell to anybody. I didn’t wanna tell anybody…. Because it’s just… hello, Eric left me. What if there was something wrong with me? It was enough for bearing this pain he left me. I didn’t want a pathetic look on everyone’s face to me. I didn’t want anyone pity me for being………. Left for no reason.

I….

Taka: Ai, you still there?

Me: Yes dad.

Taka: You could always talk to your mother if you are not comfortable to talk about this with me.

Talk to mum? You gotta be kidding me, dad. Tell more story to mum and she’ll analyze me and find out the truth, then I’m dead. It’s not easy when I could not lie to my mum (a psychologist, and someone who knew me too well) and to my father (not a psychologist, but still someone who knew me too well also). Falling in love was always wrong, and Eric was my biggest mistake.

Me: dad, I gotta go. I promise everything is fine. I’ll run to you both if something’s wrong.

Taka: okay, be good.

Me: will do always. *hug

Ai is signed out.

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“Ai.”

I looked up to Sei-kun. For the first three months after Eric left, I felt like I saw Eric’s face on everyone else’s face. I even have mistaken calling them “Eric” for like a ten thousand times.

“Well,” I said nervously. I was so no good on lying, everybody knew that. “Should it have anything to do with me?”

“Yes. You need to know where he is so you can kick his ass off.” Se-kun smiled at me. His nose was now all red. I walked to the kitchen desk and pour out hot water. As I reached for my coffee jar, I asked Sei-Kun, “Why did you think I would want to kick his ass of?”

“Wouldn’t you?”

“Nope. Kicking him a thousand times won’t fix anything. Why waste my energy?” I turned over him and handed the coffee mug. And damn, it was the mug I used to serve Eric with. And the same coffee, his favorite. I need to throw away his stuff immediately.

Sei-kun took the mug, but he didn’t drink it. “Is it hurt so bad?”

I stood in front of him, confused with his question. “What hurt so bad? It’s just a broken heart.”

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I froze, and a flash of memory passed through my eyes.

"Eric. Whatcha up to?"
"Task, assignments, projects."
"You want to isolate yourself from the outside world?"
Eric looked up to me and with a suddeh move, he kissed me. "There."
I blushed. I could feel my cheeks red-blushed and it felt like hot water spreading slowly on my face. "There what?" I demanded.
"There's always one way I knew would bring me back in touch with the outside world."
"The kiss?" I asked. So he kissed me just to knock some sense into his head.
Eric looked at my eyes. His warm chocolate-colored eyes fixed on mine. "No." he said. "Not the kiss. It's you. You always make sense of everything."

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My heart will hold yours. 
I will carry your heart.

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Wiramihardja, CONGRATULATIONS on ur grad!!
i'm really happy and proud of u...
i wish time n space haven't been blocking us.. but then, u see, i am more delighted than i could show u. Let's celebrate it once u come home.
Congratulations bestie, i know someday u'll be a hit! :P

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Define Love

I have overheard people speaking, that there's nothin last FOREVER.
I have heard the leaves softly humming, that I would never make it, true love is merely a dream.
I listen, when the wind blows my hair, it tells me that someday, those passionate and romantic scenes, those sweet words and beautiful dreams will be over.
Then, it would left you n me, stucked with the routines of saying "hi", "good mornin", "sleep tite" and "i love you"....

Then,after realizing it,
I COULD promise u a happily ever after life, according to my dreams and faith.
I could promise u a cheerful smile n helping hands for u to make sense of evrytin when this chaotic world hit u in and out.
I could promise u an eternal togetherness, a sense of belonging to each other, a forever couple.
I could promise u my presence in every step u take, the smooth road n the rough ones.
I could promise u a warm feeling. I could promise u a hug. I could promise u a ten thousand things if u want me to.

But darling.....
I do not own an immortality.
I am no God, who could promise u a future.
I'm still in search of my true self, I can't promise u to always be there, smiling, encouraging u, keeping u happy and safe...

But I know I could ALWAYS promise u this. Always:
I promise u me, myself, with my whole entity,
my being, my existence.
You will always be the reason of I am.
So I promise u a whole of me.
Me, who simply love u for who u are, with who I am.

And I'll define it as love.

to u A, for the reason of I am,
for precious moments,
for everything.
20th May 2010, 5.16 PM

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23!!

It's a 23 months anniversary...!!
A, i love you. with every cell in my body, with every breath, withe every blink of my eyes.
You never failed to warm me up.
For every hugs, for every comfort, for every moments...
thankyou...
I want to keep this love forever...
ILU...

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"Okay Mum..yes sure i'm fine. Eric's not here, he never will and yes, you've asked me the same question three times before. Give my kisses to daddy. I love you both."

This is the third times in a week Mum called me with the very same pattern. Asking me if i'm okay, whether i need something, and asking me if somehow by miracles Eric's here, so she could yell to him as he broke my heart.
Mum's too sweet sometimes, too sweet untill sometimes, i don't really want to answer her call. Eric. Remembering his name is enough for a pain.

"Ai." someone's calling in front of my door. "Would you please open the door?"
"Urrghh...leave me alone, Sei-kun. This is the first day of winter, gimme a break. I dont want any school project right now."
"This is important. And nothing's about school project." said the gentle voice.
"Ai's dead."
"Dont make me broke through your door."
I slowly kicked my soft and warm brown blanket, put on my Piglet slipper (Mum FORCED me to wear this. I have nothing to do woth this pinky-piggy-piglet. Have no idea where these things come out in front of my mum, and have no idea how could she forced me to use this, either. these slippers are ridicolous).
"What now?" I opened the door and spotted Sei stood with snow covered his brown hair, he seemed lost his breath and his nose slowly turning red. "What are you, an idiot?" I pulled him inside and threw my blanket over him. He was wearing only a t-shirt and shorts.
"I heard.......something...so...so i just came over." he said.
I stood in front of him with my two hands on my waist. "Without even take a coat?"
"It's Eric."

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C O M P L I C A T E D

GYAAAAA..........!!!

Ahem. Thankyou for letting me scream out folks.
so listen, i've been running a pretty rough days this whole...half semester at campus. believe it or not, knowing coping strategis as a result of you paying a lot of money into the faculty of Psychology doesnt really help you, if you are a college student, year 2nd, 4th smester, at this campus of crazy lecturer and assignments.

Thanks God i am still alive.
and thanks A, thanks Aloii, Bum2, Rintak, Crystal.... thanks for not letting me booked a room on the nearest local mental hospital.
and thankyou, Mac Taylor.
and you too, Derek Shepherd.

okay enough.. hahahahaha... :P

This half-semester's assignment is just CRAZY. I dont know what would happen for our finals, because our lecturers are definitely gonna kill us. they have no mercy, and looks like they have forgotten what "stress" and "out of time" means, considering that their major pleasure is torturing us. Geez,, i miss my 1st semester lecturers.

that's one problem, here comes the other one. by some weird twist of fate, the computer system separated me from my girls (so we're in a different class), and, by my stupidity, i didnt change the class when i had the chance to. (STUPID ME). so, i'm stucked in this class, alone, left in the dark and sad.
well, that's overreacting. the truth is, we were supposed to make a group of two for our mid-exam, and i paired with this friend of mine, and thats when troubles start popping up endlessly. we have a disagreement, we're not satisfied with each other, and we pretend everything's fine for the sake of the exam, but undeniably, we grow irritated to each other more and more everyday. for my pleasure, everything ended with she (undeliberately) throw my cellphone to water and soap at the toilet. JUST GREAT. thankyou so much. really, i am mad, of course, but when she tried to explain that she did not do it on purpose, then i think, "okay, okay. everybody messed up sometimes." but then you would at least expect that someone ask you about your cellphone the next morning, right? right...? some question like, "how is your cellphone? could you switch it on? any damage?" but this foolhead doesnt even ask me about that. way to go, little devil. you're a very good and responsible girl, God bless you and your life, really. i tried not to curse you, because:

1. that is how i've been teached. hold yur tongue for curses, bless people who hurt you.
2. that's exactly what a princess would do.
be thankful, because otherwise, i would yell curses right in front of your face.

you should think that it is enough for a rough semester. but apparently, life doesnt like it when i'm free of trouble, so it decides to add one more little pain in the ass for me to face. now this one girl is a very good friend of mine. and... she's getting too comfortable with my boyfriend, and i am tired to write off what exactly ARE the things she did.
truly, i dont sense any threat nor harm from her. i still believe that she is my good friend, so most likely she did all those things that pissed me off  just......... i mean, i believe that she doesnt mean me any harm.
but then, withh her being so..........comfortable, and even sometimes she....she looked like a spoiled brat clinging to A, and i'm like.............speechless. because what am i going to say anyway...?
something like "hey, bestie.. i feel totally annoyed with u being so comfort with my bf. so just behave urself girl, stop acting like a byotch or quit calling me bestfriend."
that's a war statement, really. and i dont want any war.

u know what folks. about this cellphone thing, and also this too-comfort thing... i kinda feel like i got a trouble now, in expressing my feelings, my emotion. mostly i would just take a deep breath and hold it still, in silence. from one side, that is really a progress, i used to just BURST out in anger, untill i noticed that you cant do that to everyone. people have their own interpretation when you scream out at someone.

but in the other side i feel like i just...piled up this anger and someday, it would just explode. because i havent yet tell those people that i'm so sick of them, and that's make me feel uncomfortable with myself.

geez folks, life is so complicated.
:(

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