"normal" is not God's style of running the world

Rey Lasano 12:49:00 AM
I'm in excessive need of spilling out my heart.

A. it's always about him.
crisis. it's a crisis and i sense a big "DANGER" word on his forehead.
wokeh, jadi ini ceritanya, dia sdang mnghadapi masalah terbesar dalam hidupnya. something way too private and obviously not my right to open here in allegre. But..... seriously,, entah sejak kapan gw merasa begini, tapi anything yang bikin dia sedih, bikin gw juga sedih. Herannya, gw gak pernah bisa ngejelasin ini lewat kata2 di depan dia. I never fall in love this way.....

Gw seneng nulis. Gw seneng maen kata, but when it comes to him, rasanya gw lupa semua vocab dalam kamus bahasa indonesia ataupun inggris. -.-"
dan, itu bikin gw semakin merasa useless karena selain nggak bisa  bantu apa-apa, gw bahkan gak bisa ngomong apa2, yang seharusnya diomongin seorang cewek ke cowoknya saat cowoknya need support.
but i can only offer warm hugs n kisses.
i forgot about words. totally.
damn.

Dan, di antara seorang A dan gw, bannyak bangett loh hal-hal yang berubah. Hal-hal kecil, yang entah gimana sekarang muncul sebagai hal yang besar. small cuts hurt deeper.....
hal-hal yang semakin lama bikin gw rasa2 nya semakin putus asa. gw jadi semakin ngerasa kalo i'm not good enough for him. what good is a girlfriend when she cant cheer her boyfriend up...?
kalo entah Tyaz, Crystal, atau anak2 lain pada nanyain apa ceritanya, apa2 aja hal kecil itu, sejujurnya gw bakal bingung musti crita itu dari mana ke mana.....

hari ini (atau kemarin, secara teknis) lengkap sudah 19 bulan berjalan......
tapi, meskipun dia ada di sini, gw juga nggak ngerti kenapa rasanya dia jauh banget.
kenapa rasanya dia kayak bukan A.

gw ngerasa................
kosong. dan takut.
normal nggak sih saat menghadapi masalah super duper berat trus dia jadi nggak semangat dalam segala hal termasuk gw?

you know.... sometimes i wish my life would be just normal...
but then i realize that somehow, "normal" is not God's style to run the earth....
means = i will never have a normal life.
i know, God has so many things far more important to do then saving my love life... contoh: saving Haiti, loving all unloved kids around the world, helping preacher prepare their sermon and so on....
but i wish...... i wish He would come look at me and just tell me how should i walk and which road to take....

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Rainy Rainy Rainy

Rey Lasano 8:09:00 PM

It's been raining almost everyday now... i love rain. Somehow rain connects me with so many..... chill and warm feelings.. soft sound hissing in my ear... gentle touch... and the smell of wet road and grass, and sometimes you could also smell the wind... and i always ended up finding myself with nose-stick-to-glass in my room's window... listening to the rain whistling, closing my eyes and feeling so....... so gentle...

really. sometimes rain connects me also with memories. sweet and bitter.. and brings me to rethink of everything happened in my life. things i've done, things i havent and things i want to...

it's been so cold around here, i almost think i was living somewhere higher from Jakarta, like in Puncak or something. :)
but it's perfectly fine. i love the atmosphere around. moreover, it's always easy to guess whose face came into my mind the moment the sweet rain start tickling the earth...
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I AM

Rey Lasano 7:36:00 PM

I currently randomly visit people's page on tumblr and found something interesting to put in the blog...

i link back her page here so you guys could check out her page and perhaps would find another interesting things... :)

 

http://oui-mademoiselle.tumblr.com/page/12

 

I AM

these are some characteristic listed in the page, and i bold every characteristic that shows "I AM". You guys try this. Quite fun... :)


i’m female.
i like cheese.
i like my independence.
i’d be lost without my phone. 
 i want to have kids one day.
my best friend is male.
i love cookies.
 i don’t have a favourite animal. 
i have had swine flu.
 i’m afraid of spiders. 
i have a brother.
i have a sister.
my dad is between 45-50 years old.
 my mum is between 40-45 years old. 
i want to learn how to drive.
 i have had a tooth taken out.
 i horde money.
 my best friends parents love me.
 my hair is brown. (I would like to, someday… :P )
my eyes are green.
i dislike the colour blue.
i wish i was younger.
 i live outside the US.
i love being hugged.
 i would rather shop than dance.
i’m good at singing. (I love singing but I’m not good at singing… :P )
 i wish i could be less clumsy.
 i like my hair being played with.
 my oldest cousin is over 30.
 i like card games.
 i can’t stand opera.
 i like the sound of my own voice.
 i can’t stand my name.
 i fear being rejected. 
 i’ve eaten chicken today.
i’ve stolen money off someone.
 my best friend is my partner.
i enjoy cycling.
i’m an artsy person.
 i have a large dvd collection.
i have a large cd collection.
 i want to get married one day. 
i believe in God.
 i have lots of close friends.
 i wish i was more sporty.
 i love perfume.
i like shakespeare.
i like dickens.
my hair is long.
i have a favourite tv series.
 my lips are chapped.
 i don’t like beer.
 i love apple juice.
i drink wine.
i drink vodka.
whiskey makes me sick. (I haven’t try one… hmmmmm….. put that one on my 2010 list! Hahaha.. for fun, folks… )
 i like cocktails.
i have a niece or nephew.
i like irish music. 
i have irish descent.
 i don’t wear makeup often. 
 i wash my hair at least 3 times a week.
 i like pizza.
i love pasta.
 i hate olives.
i’ve dyed my hair an outrageous colour.
 i eat too much chocolate.
i have natural curls. (…or used to….)
 i wish i had a pet horse.
 i have a cat.
i have a dog.
 i love swimming.
i live in a town.
 i live in a flat/apartment.
 i’ve had chicken pox.
i find golf boring.
i hate boxing.
i get jealous easy.
i love fantasy films.
i love harry potter.
my friends would say I’m caring.
i once wanted to be a teacher.
 i have a low attention span.
 i am an avid reader.
 i am not easily frightened.
 i’m very philosophical.
i am or intend to study psychology. 
i would say i am unique.
 i have more than 3 aunts.
 my skin is pale.
my birthday is in less than 3 months time.
 i feel sleepy right now.
stars and hearts are pretty.
 purple is my favourite colour.
i wish unicorns existed. {people would use them for money}
i have a specific, actual, phobia.
flying frightens me.
 i would rather listen to music than watch tv

 

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10 Way of Change

Rey Lasano 6:15:00 PM

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi:
10 Way Of Change

1. Change yourself.
“You must be the change you want to see in the world.”
“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world - that is the myth of the atomic age - as in being able to remake ourselves.”

2. You are in control.
“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”

3. Forgive and let it go.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
“An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

4. Without action you aren’t going anywhere.
“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.”

5. Take care of this moment.
“I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.”

6. Everyone is human.
“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.”
“It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.”

7. Persist.
“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

8. See the good in people and help them.
“I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the faults of others.”
“Man becomes great exactly in the degree in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men.”
“I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles; but today it means getting along with people.”

9. Be congruent, be authentic, be your true self.
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
“Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.”

10. Continue to grow and evolve.
”Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position.”
,
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Rey Lasano 1:11:00 PM




Faith is the proof to everything you believe in, even things you havent seen yet
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Rey Lasano 8:47:00 AM





Believing that you and him are meant to be means you have no worries when he chose to go for a while.
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Exploring Life

Rey Lasano 7:40:00 PM
I'm kinda enjoying life much much more right now--Well, seriously it's part of my new year resolution, which in complete pointers would be:
  1. Strike the straight A (oh yeah baby, reminding me of that statistics, data and numbers I have to get used to. I HAVE to get used to. Man, I dont remember I chose Psychology over Criminology for its STATISTIC class. Geez. Why in the world do I have to figure out which critical region for this data with the correct alpha level and degree of freedom? And how on earth would that be useful in my life? *lol* *sigh after lol -.-"* I would kill the man who put this Stat thing in Psychology myself if he's still alive. Why didnt he just leave Psychology in peace without numbers?? *lol again). Well, as hard as it is, I guess I still need to list this one in my new year resolution...
  2. Be a better girlfriend. This past three months I've been acting so selfish, short temper and so.... pain in the ass. XD so this year resolution is to be a better girlfriend for my A. Be the one he used to know.
  3. Closer relationship with J....
  4. Having Macbook Air, NDS lite pink, iPhone 3gs, on my own expense. Where would i get the money...? No idea. I'll figure it out, I have one year. Hahahaha...
  5. Rachel House Volunteer
  6. Ice-Skating class
  7. Dance class
  8. French & Japanese class
  9. At least once do the wall climbing
  10. At least once do the bungee-jumping
  11. Mastering Final Fantasy X: Ending Theme on the piano
  12. Calmly and take everything easier in life so I wont bother anyone else especially my A, my Tyaz, my Crystal and my Bombi-Aloii-Rintak-Dee... i bother them way too much.... -.-"
  13. Never ever stop writing
  14. ...and finally enjoy and enjoy and enjoy life much and much and much much more.... :)
Well there are pletny of things I have to do then... :)
you guys know what..? It's true, i want enjoy life much more, exploring every chances there are, every adventures and trying new things, acquiring new skills and so on. But somehow I guess it's another way I prepare myself. A... well i hope so much he do well on his undergraduate theses (Oh please God...guide him... i dunno any other way to encourage him to do this, really...) well, assuming he's gonna graduate soon, and then he's gonna work somewhere. Normally then, he'll be busy and...and...well it minimalize our quality time, our fun time and... well you know what i mean. Then, I have to got things to do or else i'll start bothering him every hour every day... :)

Well, see u all around.
you guys should also explore life much more..
we live once, so live it!

Have a happy week....
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