I Miss Them

Rey Lasano 8:02:00 AM
I miss high school. I really do... I even miss junior high so bad. Not that here in college is not fun. Everything is fun here.. and I'm actually kinda enjoying all the tasks and assignments and the pressures here but truly, I miss my besties. I miss Tyaz. A LOT. all the laughs, the hugs, the surprises, the brainstorming between the two of us... she was always a great partner, the best ever, her confidence, her trust in me, her never ending faith, she was so good on convinving me that I can do what I think I can't. And I miss being around her.. listen to her stories, match her cynical thinking with my natural and positive one...
I miss the feeling of friendship, a warm atmosphere.. something so rare nowadays, when things are so hectic and crowded around me. All I wanna do at the end of the day is actually meeting her, sitting in a couch, holding a cup of tea / nice blended coffee and then talk. But life is never ever satisfied before screwing me up, right? so here I am with ten thousand things to be done and there she is, far away with her own ten thousand things, and time is just on our side. Geez. Meeting her is more impossible then finishing ALL paperworks I have to write  for Psychology in only a day. It is THAT impossible to meet her. What a life.

and then... I miss Wiramihardja. this is kinda different with Tyaz. I've been friends with him...for.. what.. 8 years? He is now as busy as a colony of BEES or ANTS. He's even busier than me! and I think i am the BUSIES person living on earth. I don't know how he handles everything, being far away from family and friends and all. I really have no idea. But, there was always time for us skype-ing or chatting or texting or anything to confirm that he is (still) alive and so am I. There was time when we meet at Skype yet we can't talk coz he had to study for an exam and I had to prepare some meals home, but still, seeing him, then saying hello to each other WAS still a form of communication. Now the analogy of a "Star-friend: not always vicible but u know we always there" is kinda hard to believe since there is almost no evidence of him being there. in a dark night sky, even if you dont see stars, you know they are there, because sometimes they popped in out of nowhere in the sky. imagine if for a year you never ever see a star, you might've start thinking that maybe all stars are gone.
and then again, life is never ever satisfied before screwing me up, so here I am and there he is so far away, literally, with no contact between me and him. I am wondering, actually. is he really that busy? Or am i doing something wrong and then he doesnt feel like it to talk to me? I feel like I dont know him anymore.

I don't know. all the besties in junior hig and senior high... will time change human hearts? Is friendship really that powerless against time? If Crystal does move to Aussie, will this also happens?

I, actually still believing, that there are THINGS time could not erase. I just dont know how to convince myself that those people i really love som much are still believing in the same thing even when time and space separate us for an unknown duration. because the feeling in me is still the same. and always will be the same.

therefore, i'm warning you here Tyaz, Vin, Tal, should you three read this, you are so have to text me, contact me, call me, FB-me, email me, anything. any communication means you can reach, reach it right now. It feels stupid to tell this via blog, but I dont know how to reach u guys anmore. well, except you Tal, of course. :) :)

have a lovely day all...
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GRADUATION

Rey Lasano 4:35:00 AM


HAPPY GRADUATION A!!!

oh thanks God he stood there today...
brighter future for your coming years sweetheart...
congratulations... :P :P

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Happy October

Rey Lasano 9:43:00 PM
Aaaarggh... feels like AGES since my last post..
this is the BUSIEST time ever..! Gosh. September has never been easy on me.. --"
well now, since it's October already, I hope things are getting easier.. because I feel like all this assignments, mid test, tasks and deadlines are killing me slowly.

Got to say A LOT of things happened. A LOT. I joined the ADC (Atmajaya Debating Club) and starting feeling annoyed by A's mumble like "well, since you're in the debating club..." or "now you got a little annoying since you're in debating club" and so on. OH PLEASE. HELL-O. Debating club SHARPENING my logical and critical thinking. NOT changing me into an annoying person who sees EVERYTHING logically. I'm gonna smack A down next time he spoke like that again. Otjer than that, this club is AMAZINGLY UNEXPECTEDLY EXTRA FUN!!. Where were I these past two years?? I should've joined this club from my first smester and save my butt from suffering with this arguments-logical-communicating skill in Psychology. Gee.
But it's okay folks, it's still fun and I met some nice people around. Oh, and I met someone whose appearance and style resembles A sooo much at the inaguration camp at Anyer. I was literally shocked the moment this peculiar guy entered the room. sort of thinking my boyfriend lost his mind and found me there or my  mind played trick on me becoz i miss him a lot. Turns out hat two options were wrong. So this guy WAS NOT A, and my mind WAS NOT playing tricks on me either. He just RESEMBLES A so much. His way of talking and how he laughs, his jokes and his cheerful smile, i don't know two different people could resembles each other so much. Later on when ME AND A (i forced him) checked on his FB (God, I beg You for not letting this guy read my post--or if he does, hopefully he doesn't realize it's him i'm talking about) we found more similiarities to A on this guy. Like he's a guitarist and his style (especially his hair) represents A so much forced us to drop our jaws. Even A looked surprised, I think. I wonder if there's someone out there who resembles me too. :P

.........and.... i'm applying for a scholarship. (pray for me, folks). the scholarship required a reference letter from a faculty member where you were registered as a student, and preferrably from your English teacher. so I went to my academic advisor, Bu Ber and asked her about this. Because there is NO WAY I could ask my English teacher to write a reference letter for me. she barely even knows me. perhaps she doesn't even remember i was her student. Then Bu Ber wanted to hear me talking in English so we did the rest of the conversation in English. She said it was "acceptable" whatever did she mean with that and she looked more than willing to write me the letter. smooch for you Bu Ber... :D
then I just picked my TOEFL score today and literally shocked with the score.. it's not a very high score, but it's stil exceeded my expectation. So I just sit there at the office and feel like "Whaaat thee....-----" for at least 10 minutes before i realized i need to get back home as soon as possible to start workin on my essays. I...... really thanked God for the score. Because i really doubted the score before. I MISSED 7 questions on Structure and Written English section. The test was paper based, that means I have to circle black my answer with 2B pencils, which takes like FOREVER to fill all the questions. So when I scored fine, I was definitely surprised. And thankful of course. If it wasn't God who helped me out, I wouldn't get this score. Yaay..! ;P

i also sent  a short story to Pena dan Cerita as one of their requirements to be a freelance contributor on the site. The site provides you with short stories from various author and mostly are very good to read. Most of them writeen in Indonesian but a few are also written in English. So  check the site out when you have the time folks... Other than that, I found this community called Yayasan Cinta Anak Bangsa (YCAB) and registered my name as a volunteer. They covered the area of "NO DRUGS" for young people. I think it's fun, happy and cool to join their activities so I registered my name. You can also do the same thing by visiting their site. So... you can say I spent my September (and half October) applying for this and that which is a boit exhausting, but I must say I DO enjoy this and have a pretty much fun along the process.. ;D

next issue, I miss Wiramihardja a lot. it's been like weeks since we last talked and he didn't reply my emails. Even when i told him i'm applying for a scholarship, it took around two days before that one busy boy replied my mail. It's not just like him. Usually he'll drop me a text immediately if i'm saying important things like applying a scholarship. So I hope he's okay, coz i miss my neutralizer, a friend to talk to and happy and joyful time skype-ing or something. He's extremely busy but strange I don't know what he's doing that makes him THAT busy. When he was taking his undergraduate school, i still following his movements. He even sent me one of his tasks and asked me to help. But now... i almost know........... nothing. and i'm sad. i missed my bestfriend...

i think i'm just gonna mail him once again tonight and go to sleep.
it's late and i'm sleepy. see you around folks...
i still have like ten thousand things to share, but maybe not tonight.
Good nite all, kisses from the stars.
:) :)
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A Sister God Forget to Give Me

Rey Lasano 10:01:00 PM
urm. I actually............ kinda don't know what to tell, really. Well, i guess life is sure full of surprises. and the fact that my bestfriend decided to drop her degree here and go to Australia next year, and enroll in a state university there is one hell of a proof to that.

why do i eventually always 'lose' the people i love the most?

it's not like Jude is goin to a so remote island faraway in Neverland or something. and it's not like i wont be able to reach her and vice versa... but it's just....... i don't know. i already miss her right now.

being a bestie, she's more like a sister. and imagining she wont be here physically, it's torturing me. i love making friends here and there. i wanted to make friends as much as i meet people everywhere. but to make someone a "bestfriend", whoa. it's a different thing. I'm the kind of person who enjoys one true bestfriend than having 20 fake bestfriends.

in life, i learn that you got some, you lose some. holding to that principle, you got your true bestfriends around you. people you're attached to. people you depend on for happiness and well being. people who complete you. people who doesn't mind with your flaws and enrich your pluses. people who will yell at you when you're destroying yourself, and who will still be there to comfort and hug you when you finally realize they were right. people who make sure you will be laughing at least three times that day. people who make your life worth living. people you love more than you could tell them. people like Jude. people like A. people like Wiramihardja. people like Tyaz, Aloii, Bom2 n Karina.

and when one of them go, you feel destroyed, i could assure you that. i remember i felt this kind of feeling when Wiramihardja left to USA 8 years ago. a bestfriend still we are, we prove what friendship could do across the ocean untill now, but still, it was a kinda hard time for us. and i miss him every now and then, but you know, in the end it's just a fact i have to get used to.

and Jude? I don't know what to do without her here. technology are beyond amazing these days and there will be ways and chances to keep in touch. yes, i am very well aware for that. but still i think it wont replace the quality time, the laugh, the hugs and pat on the back..... part of me really really really want to cheer her on and support her. she's doin this to fullfill our dreams. i'm the one who always said to run for your dreams. that is exactly what she's working in now... but when it involves saying goodbye, it sounds painful. the other part of me feels like i want to cry just now.

but then again, she's running to her dreams. and me too. we set our goal, we set our target, and if there's one thing i learned from Her Highness Miss Realistic, then it would be: to be realistic... :P
she's running to her dreams, i'll support her. and she will just do the same. afterall, a friendship like this is a bond that bind you to death. :P :P
its powers go through the ocean, time and place. friendship is not always in the eyes. it stays longer in the heart.

i love ya Jude. let's run to our dreams together.
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Chances

Rey Lasano 10:51:00 PM

Sometimes, you got to take chances. If only so, you can give one to someone else.

-Reed Garett from CSI : NY 6, ep. 17. Pot of Gold
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I See

Rey Lasano 11:01:00 PM

i see a girl who still believes to the magic of life. that she would walk thorugh fire and ice, and would still be standing pursuing her very own sunshine. i see someone with hopes inside her. and i don't wanna lose her.

what do you see?


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If Ever

Rey Lasano 8:53:00 PM
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”
-Winnie the Pooh

imagining the naive Pooh saying this, i feel so deeply peaceful... :)
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