A Teacher

Rey Lasano 6:06:00 PM
I always got amazed on how teachers could have so much influence on us. I remember I wrote about a teacher called Mas GG back then at Atma Jaya and how i was fascinated by his passion of teaching, how he found happiness and joy in teaching his students, and how he treated us as equal, as colleagues and as students.

Never did i thought i will also be fascinated by a sensei here in Japan. I have seen my senseis' passions here in Japan. How they worked so hard to make everything is easily understood by us, who really, are beginners in learning Japanese. I have seen them downloading Portuguese dictionary to help student who does not speak English so well and I have seen them inviting a native speaker of Portuguese from the higher level to help in class. I have seen them using so many pictures and easy summary, flashcards and tools to teach. I have seen them tried their best to create a fun activity that makes it possible for us to interact with native Japanese students in classes. I have seen them patiently listen to our messed up grammar and weird pronunciation. I have seen them listening eagerly to our stories in classes, even tough we always had problems in explaining things, mostly because we don't know the words, or we do know the words but we just dont know how to put them together in a sentence.

Today, I saw a side of a sensei that surprised me so much, a side of him that I never thought I would ever seen. It was to discover that maybe, all this time I have been looking at my teachers, all of them, in Indonesia and in Japan, with only one eye. :)
Turns out that them, being a teacher, being a sensei somehow always have their way to connect with you, to touch you, to teach you, and that by choosing to teach, they have given their all for the sake of their students.

I am amazed to see that through my education years, formally and informally, I have met the teachers that have taught me from their heart. Teachers who found that their student is as important as their choice of job for living. Teachers who found happiness and joy in listening to their students, in watching they grew smarter, and in advising them to be a better person.

Today, one of my sensei here in Japan surprised me by his wide knowledge of another cultures as well as his deep understanding of his students' condition. Being a ryuugakusei, or a foreign student, you got all the fun, but you dont miss all the flaws and hardship you have to endure. It was all in one package and by receiving all the exciting things and advantages you could get, you were also sworn to take the down side respectfully, with a high sense of responsibility. I was kinda surprised because somehow he acknowledged the condition in my dorm, which was really really strict, controlling and limiting you acting as your own self, that as a very normal person you would most likely first react with refusal, anger, and too many 'whys' and 'they cant do thats' in your mind.
it is not like it was THAT bad in the dorm. Everything is nice as long as you understand that you have to give yourself time to adjust and give other people time too, to adjust with you. New things never got easier, seriously. But when the adjustment things are through, as long as you stay true to yourself while learning the important values of living together, then you're gonna be all right.

This sensei, somehow pointed out to me things that I did not see before. He did not pick side, neither 'foreign students' side nor 'the dorm's' side, yet he tried to show me what he thought was wrong, where the problem really rooted from.

He also shared his views of teachings, how he perceived students and how he sees himself as a teacher. In classes, we usually do all the talks and he would correct us when we do mistakes or help us when we are struggling with grammars and vocabularies. He let us speak so often and I rarely heard him speak about himself or his thoughts. But today I listened a lot to his thoughts, his interest, his experience, some of his habits, and his points of view. It was really amazing, concerning that being a teacher he knows the basic things of me and my classmates since all we do is talk about ourselves, our experiences and things in our home countries, but me and the others rarely know things about his life, beside his full name and that he ever taught in a university in Singapore for around 8 years. I dont even know where did he live or how he get to the university until yesterday!

From our rather long but easy chat yesterday, I learned a lot of things. I began to see that he really love to teach, more than I ever realized. I also see that he put a lot of attention to his students, even into little things that I did not even remember I tell him in classes.
His insights and his determination somehow makes me reflects back on those teachers I have ever had through my life. And truly, they inspired me. Inspired me to be a better person, inspired me to have the same determination, the same passion, the same attention in everything I do. Right now I am not at all thinking of being a teacher, for I think I need to experience more and more and more first before I could consider myself as one, but seriously, I would be happy to give my all to things that I really want to do, just like they give their all to teach.

Ever since I came to Japan, I often complaint on so many things. Things that are not working as I want them to, things that are different, things that in my opinion is not good at all and things that somehow make it harder to live in Japan. But because of this particular sensei's insight I realized that in living my life in Japan, I havent yet give it my all. I havent yet do my best and I havent yet work the hardest.
I havent yet put my passion, my determination in learning the language and completing the dream I've been chasing all this years. This is just halfway and I havent give it my all.

From now on, I want to live to even happier in Japan. I want to see things from a different side. I want to give it my all, to feel more thankful and to enjoy my time here, to fill it with my best memories and to learn things more and more.

By the waym I got a feeling that maybe, just maybe, there are other teachers that are also passionate, determined, and nice in KANDA, but maybe I just havent got the chance to know that 'side' of those teachers, since they have been act so unselfishly that their students become their first priority.

There are still a lot of things in my mind but Kanji books began to scream to me to start studying since I got this test tomorrow and I haven't memorize anything. :D
I was about to complaint, but, well, I have promised i will try my best first!
I think this is also what my father wants me to do. :)

I'll catch ya all very soon folks.
Kisses from the stars!
Hug your loved ones tonight. :D
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Random Thoughts

Rey Lasano 7:58:00 PM
Some of my friends have been so much in love lately. Among them, there are also people who were broken hearted, who were unbelievably happy, who were without any reason feel like smiling everyday, also there are people who questioned if what they are doing is right, people who feel sad because they were rejected for a non sense reason, and people who were wondering if they should just give it up or keep chasing the pavements even if it doesnt lead anywhere (hell yeah Adele, i love ya! xD )

To those people, right now I really have nothing to say. for me myself have been trying to arrange my own heart slowly and neatly. for the next time i dont want to be wrong. for the next time i wish it would be forever and for the next time i wish it will last as long as God let me live.
somehow sounds cheesy, or evenmore, silly. childish? yes, maybe.

But someday maybe you will understand why you feel like smiling all day.
Someday maybe you will understand why you wake up hoping he will drop you a message.
Someday maybe you will understand why you have to choose between letting it go or chasing t through
Someday maybe you will understand why you have to be rejected

Then after everything is through, someday you maybe finally find your someone.
Sometimes I wonder, should we grew up someday, do we still look at love the same way we do right now...?
When we grew up someday, will we look back and laugh at how we think about little things like we do now?

for everyone of you out there, who happened to understand that your journey is still so far away,
be strong. stay through. have faith. dont stop believing. trust your dreams. fight for them. most of all..... be happy.
wherever you are, whatever you do, whoever you want to be.
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I Miss My Bestfriends

Rey Lasano 7:23:00 PM
I was writing a report for my Sociology class (It’s in English, obviously. I can not write a report in
Japanese yet xD) and my playlist start to change to

the ‘Karaoke’s playlist’ I always had with the girls back home in Indonesia. Two of them were ‘To Love You More’ and ‘If You Touch Me Like This’ by Celine Dion, which definitely took my thoughts directly to Rinane, Loince, Dee, and Bombina.

Those days were really peaceful, happy, exciting and warm days.

I can almost recall their voices when singing the songs, their dances, their faces, their expression, the light setting in the karaoke room, the music, the atmosphere....

To realize that I really really really do miss them an

d more than ever, I wish they were just a breath away not far from where I am (which literally means I had to transport them to Japan and maybe would not happen untull next five years or so ahead). Sometimes I wonder if putting their pictures all over my desk is actually a good thing to do since I always almost cry everytime I see those pictures. But then again those pictures are my mood booster every morning, my way to keep them here with me, miles away. Their pictures are the smiling graphics I see every morning when I wake up, I see everytime I checked my windows before I leave my room and those pictures accompany me through my many hours of writing report, learning Kanji, me

morizing vocabularies, and I am happy I put those pictures there.

I miss Jude to the point I never had before. There are always times when I what I want to do is jump to the phone and call her. To tell her things I’ve seen, secrets I want to share, problem I need a realistic head to help, to have a friend who sit by me in a coffee shop talking about life, and where to go to travel next month. T o have someone by me to catch movies every week and talk about it all week, to have a friend to run to the nearest bookstore and starting to spending money on those books, to laugh when a cute boy walked passed us, or simply to share the warmth of friendship.


To have a friend who stand by me whenever i am weak, whenever i am in need of help, whenever i need a pat on the back, whenever i need a slap in the face.

I miss her so bad. Skype and emails are so nice and I am so thankful for them, but it is different. It is different when the person is there, that you know they are within your reach. When things got worse, you can still ALWAYS run to them, knocking their doors, they will provide protection and hugs and warmth and love for you. When you are miles and miles and too much miles away from them, you cannot expect to go home anytime you want to and knocking their doors to get a hug.

This Christmas, I want to be home. And going home means going to the place where they are, to the place where I feel so safe, so all right, and so warm.

I miss my bestfriends.

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Forever This Way

Rey Lasano 11:52:00 AM



It's been November again and I really could not help but wonder why did time fly so fast when I actually expected that it will go so slow. Thinking that I will be so far from everyone I love somehow makes me feel one year is going to be a so very long time to get through.
Turns out it goes faster than I expected.

Maybe it is because there are way too much things to do everyday, maybe it is because I have too much tests than I ever had in my life, maybe it is because I have to memorize kanji like everyday, maybe it is because I have to cook and do all the washings and house cores on my own, maybe because there is too many books to read, or maybe it is simply because everything is much much more exciting and happy and fun, more than I ever thought it would be. :)

Few days ago my mum had lunch with my besties (yes, don't ask me how, they just suddenly appeared on skype video call and thanks to them, I cry and cry and cry all over again. :D)
by the way, Skype is so rock and God blesses anyone who works so hard behind that program. Considering international phone calls here is like literally robbing your wallet, Skype is more than just kind hearted! :D :D

I talked with Loince, Bombina, Rinane, Dee, and Dhani.. and I was so......... happy. it makes me feel warm in a second and I was really really really happy. We talked and joking around and told stories and everything.

I was happy. Looking at Aloince also reminded me that soon she will not be in Jakarta anymore. Reminded me that when I came home, she might have not been there anymore. Yet, I thought that no matter how sad I am, things won't change. Her father probably won't cancel his mutation and I know deep down inside Loince is thrilled to live in a different country, try new things and enjoy Finland.

And I always want her to be happy, no matter where she goes, what she does, who she lives with, wherever in the world. So i am not helping her by feeling sad all the time, so instead I think it's better to spend my time better in thinking how could we stay in touch than feeling sad all the time.

Today, through the video call I really discover that even tough we are so far from each other, true friendship will still be there. There, in th
e precious space in your heart. There, safely placed and out of touch from time and distance. And that the farther we are from each other, should it is really a true friendship, the stronger the bond will be.

Sure, I am worried. and sure, sometimes things are different when people are really beside you, pat you on the back and make you laugh all the time, but I want to believe that these people God met me up with are among those ones in a
million, who happened to be, my true best friends.

and to you all, my dear loves. We will grow up and certain things will change. But our hearts, our friedship will forever stay this way, and when we grow old, we will smile upon looking back to million things we did together, and keep it as a precious treasure forever. :)





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A Friend Like Her

Rey Lasano 4:44:00 PM
Good evening everyone.. :)

Today is the last day of Hamakaze Festival at my university. I was planning on giving you all a full report about the festival today but something happened that grasp my full attention and this was far more important, much much more important than Hamakaze Festival. I would still LOVE to write about the Hamakaze festival of course, just maybe not today. :D :D

Today I was attending a meeting for a volunteer program at the uni and i received a mail from a very dear friend. She had a good news, her father has passed all tests to work at Finland, a place so far away i could only imagine how could I ever see her again. But her family has been through a lot of things until they heard this good news and it is really really hard not to be happy for her.

I was happy, but a sting of pain quickly attacked me, replacing the happiness i felt before. When she said she'll be going to Finland, that means when I got back home to Indonesia, she will not be there. For a pretty long time I just stand still, I'm so afraid that if i move, i'll lose control of myself and will burst into tears.

She was, a best friend whose place is irreplaceable.
She was, someone i count in whenever i need a good laugh.
She was, someone i'll run to whenever i need to be heard.
She was, someone who turns everything into comedy, live in action and i missed her jokes, her stupid face and expression, her innocent words that make me and my other dearest girls laugh our day off.
She was, someone who believes in me, anytime i dont believe in myself.
She was, someone who faithfully reminds me of everything i need to remember, almost act like a personal agenda and someone who are not good enough on expressing things with words, but still has her message clearly delivered.

If it werent for her, maybe i wont sit here in the one of the most fabolous country existed in the world. I wont be here in Japan should she was not there with me along the process of my scholarship application.
she was there, from the point i wrote my CV and letter of application to the point i had to do the interview.
she was there, together re-read my application and watch me re-write it again and helped me handle all of my other important task: registering cclasses at the uni etc while i'm cracking my head on what to write.
she was there, staying with me while i'm waiting for my turn to get the interview and slowly losing confidence and was actually deciding to just give it up and go home. she was there, to pat my back and held my hand and reassuring me every single minute that i was worth it.

If it werent for her, maybe i havent yet finished my first chapter of undergraduate theses and still be like a zombie and not sure what i will write and how do i even start.
she was there, glaring at me every time i got lazy, and be there when we together share the stress, the excitement, the anger, the tears, the....... food. :)

to list moments i had with her and things i treasure forever is like an endless thing to do. because they were just TOO much.
I often think, why do God always meet me up with these special persons, only for me to learn that there has to be another goodbye between us.

i am sad. i thought i could use a better time with her. i am sad, to think that her face wont be there when i got back home. i am sad, to think that this last year i wont share her birthday, Christmas, New Year, Graduation..... i wont even be there when she left to Finland. and altough i heart her so deep that i thought it would be good for her to go, to find new experiences, to have some more adventures........... i still..................................

i'm trying so hard to believe that everything is going to be allright, that there are lots of way of communicating and that friendship is one of those little things that is untouchable by time, unchangeable by distance... still.. i feel so............ sad.
suddenly i thought that going to Japan is not really the best decision.
suddenly i thought, that being here... cost me too much sacrifices.
i wish i was stronger, but perhaps i am this weak.

perhaps, things cant be allright anymore.
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Nikkou: Kegon no Taki

Rey Lasano 6:28:00 PM
Hello again everyone!! :D

Time went so fast and it's been almost two months here in Japan. I'm still struggling with the language but people around me make it really fun to learn. I had nice teachers who showed me how much they wanted to help us learn. I had nice friends who supports me, reminding me of home works and tests and we learn together and I'm really really happy.

So, as most school in Japan, my campus hosted a school trip for us and we went to Nikkou two days ago. It was good for them, because plenty of us have been planning to launch an attack to the headmaster of KANDA because they keep cutting off our holidays. It was literally NATIONAL holiday in Japan and they forced us to come in and attend classes. xD xD

The trip was planned by the level 4 students (I'm in level 1, please stop asking that. Mwahahaha.. :D :D), with votes from everyone in Bekka.We were offered the choices of going to Yokohama, Nikkou or Mount Fuji. The vote goes for Nikkou (yaaaay!!).
There was a waterfall named Kegon no taki (taki is the Japanese word for waterfall) and it was one of three most beautiful waterfalls in Japan. And I could not agree more. The view was simply breathtaking, beautiful, peaceful and I really cant take my eyes off the bea
uty of the waterfall and the surroundings area.
See? This was BEAUTIFUL.



It was only because of this stupid traffic jam that we were running so late of schedule and we spent only so little time here. My two senseis, Tokunaga Sensei and Takeda Sensei nearly had to drag me. Because, don't blame me, but witnessing God's painting on this mountaino
us area is WAY TOO amazing. You can not just stand there for 15 minutes and then leave! It was........ magnificently beautiful.

it was Aki (autumn) already here in Japan and the leaves is starting to change color. they made beautiful gradation of yellow, faded green, red and orange on the mountain, on the waterfall's surrounding and everywhere in the streets of Nikkou. It was rather cold out theere but I enjoyed myself so much there. It was so beautiful and peaceful and i think i'm running out of
words to describe how.......... splendid it was in Nikkou. I closed my eyes and i could smell the leaves, felt the wind playing softly with my hair, heard the sound of the water and c
ompletely lost myself, blending in with the surroundings.


.................and that was exactly when Takeda sensei called on me and laughed and said i was so slow. I was, well, i really couldnt speak Japanese that good but by that time I really wanted to
tell him that you cant bring someone to a place like this, take photographs in ten to fifteen minutes then urged her to leave right away. It was a TORTURE, seriously, to leave that place so fast. Well it wasn't at all his fault, I understand, but i wish.. really wished we could stay longer.
Speaking of Takeda sensei, he was my Enshuu class teacher. He was very very very nice to us and his classes were always interesting. Never did I feel sleepy nor bored each time I attend his classes. He was cheerful and passionate and was very kind and patient, attentive and tried his best to understand his students.

That morning he sat near our meeting point at the campus, and, well maybe i was just really sleepy that i almost mistaken him as a student..!
Hahahahaha... It was because he wasn't wearing shirts and he took off his glasses, he didin't look
like a teacher at all. At least 3 of my friends had the same reaction with me when they looked at him. Their reaction (in different time) could be something like this:

"OMG. Is THAT your sensei, seriously?"
"Whoa! Rey! He is DIFFERENT."
"He's a sensei? No way you're kidding me!"

I was just laughing. Thank God i was so sleepy that i didn't
greet everyone like i used to do everyday, or else i could go and say things like, "Hey, good
morning! we're going to nikkou, aint you feel so excited about this?" to Takeda Sensei which literally not polite at all.
So can you guess which one is he in this photograph?
So then, we took so many photographs and by the time i got back to the dorm i was really happy when i saw the photographs.







This is me and Nayara. She came from Brazil and we are in the same level and classes in KANDA. I LOVE her soo much! She teaches me a lot of Portuguese and she is the kind of friend who always makes you feel good whenever you are togeth
er.














This is me with Estela, Nayara, Leandro and Maru-senpai. I've been really good friends with Stel, Nay and Leandro and i HEART them so much. Being Brazilians, they were all very attentive and caring and value togetherness and they are very nice,
open and they were so very friendly. It was great to meet them and I am really happy.



So that concludes my trip to Kegon no Taki, a place where for the first time in Japan, i feel so much back in touch with nature and i was really really happy. For you who someday visit Japan, please make sure you stop by Nikkou, and see this waterfall.

I really need some sleep right now and I hope you guys have a good night. Kisses from the stars! Hug your loved ones tonight! I'll see you all soon. :3






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21st

Rey Lasano 4:28:00 PM
I never ever had a birthday when I was away from literally EVERYONE.
On my 14th birthday, my dad was not home. But there was mum and my family and definitely my friends and although it was a bit lonely, i was happy still.
On my 15th birthday, i think, Kevin was not here in Indonesia. I think the year after that he was back to Indonesia and left to USA exactly one day before my 16th birthday. But my family was there, and so were my other great friends and I didnt think i was lonely at all. Afterall, Kevin was almost always the first one to greet me birthday and I never thought he would forget.
On my 17th birthday, my father was hospitalized, it was his third day at the hospital because of the damn stroke thing and he was almost crying, looking at me on my 17th birthday holding cake from my classmates but nothing from him.
Yet it was my one memorable birthdays. They said 17 was special. Girls in Indonesia usually had this blazing sweet seventeenth birthday party in a restaurant with fancy candles and clothes and invitation. When i was in 2nd grade of senior high, every month there would be a celebration and party and party and party all year. sometimes i even got two or three invitations for the same day.
but yet again, my 17th birthday was still a calm and peaceful birthday. friends and family surrounded me and there was my father, lying on his sickbed, almost crying because he kinda want to do something for me but he just couldnt and i couldnt think of any birthday present more precious than that. Now that he is gone, i would do anything to came back to that very precious moment and hold him even tighter.

after 17, people said 21 is also the other special age. In Indonesia mostly 21 is the coming age for boys. for me.............. 21st birthday is rather special because i turned 21st on the 21st of September and that only happened once. And God could never be more specific on emphasizing the meaning of "special" in my life. God always has His way about this.
This year it was special because, like i said before, i turned 21st on the 21st September.
This year it was special because, I was not with friends and family at all this year..
This year it was special because, I was in Japan, and being in Japan is special, because i've been dreaming of going to this place for like all of my life.
This year it was special because, dad was gone and this is my first birthday without him, and i wasnt even home.

This year.......................................................... could never been better. :)
the morning i turned 21, Kevin sent me a message and LITERALLY stating that he knew this was my first birthday away from home.
Knowing him for a long time, I could say that it was just another unique way of him to show that he knows. that he cares. He was the first one to greet me Happy Birthday and realizing that he never misses my birthday was somehow made me feel relieved.
and then also in the morning A sent me a text to my phone, and it was really kind of him and i was glad, really really glad that at least they didnt forget. That morning i sort of think that no one will remember. no, dont laugh at me, i seriously meant that. it feels like i was eliminated from everybody's memory soon after i left for Japan. and since i havent been close enough with everyone here i sorta of believe they dont even know anything about my birthday and it was not their fault at all.
i just thought it would be......... just sad.

But as always, I was wrong. :')
and this time, I am happy i was wrong.
Early morning Rini knocked my door and she sang the happy birthday song and gave me a gift. it was a mug of Chopper! I have no idea since when did I fell in love with him but well, he's cute and cheerful and cute again.. ngahahahahhaa...
okay, okay. and so i was really happppppy with this mug of Chopper and i would soon upload the pictures so you could share the happiness!
it was really kind of Rini and i was really really so very very very happy!
so then I walked downstairs and Estela and Jenni hugged me and gave me cellphone chains, which I was really really really LOVE! and I was absolutely happy! Stel also gave me some cookies and then Marina gave me an Agenda, and it was really cool because i've been looking for that since like two weeks or so and she remembered and she gave that to me along with a bar of chocolate.

What else could I ask for a birthday?
After that Rini made everyone sing a Happy Birthday song with different languages and Oneechan (Teng Senpai, a senior of mine in the dorm) gave me her presents. It was a hairpin with a birthday card and I was BEYOND happy. To be here and to have so many friends who love me and care for me, I am such a lucky girl. :') It was really hard not to cry because I didnt even imagine that i will have such a sweet birthday..

And it wasnt all. I checked my emails and everything and there is this video Aloince made for me as a birthday present and tears were all rounding in my eyes. If I havent remember that there were a lot of people sitting around me i might've just cry out loud. Loince made a video with Remember Me This Way as the background song (nicely done Loince, you just know how to touch my weakest point) and the video shows collection of pictures from our first months at the college untill moments to where they went with me to the airport.

Bombice also made something special. she made a pretty long video of herself talking to me and i couldnt help but responded like it was really her in front of me. i laughed with her, answering her questions, scream out loud when she talked about Yessung oppa (yes, that cute Super Junior member) and I was....................

it was them.
and they never changed a bit, this girls. It was really like if I were there with them and they made my birthday............ special. They are actually the MAIN people who make my birthday is so very far from lonely.

After that Veli also sent me a poem, in which i found so many feelings she tried hard to express. and found courage and i felt so grateful, that this birthday turns out to be one of the happiest birthday I ever had. God never let me walk alone.

Soon after Cindy also sent me picture she edited by herself, along with a poem and her poem touches my heart. I can almost say that I understand everything she wrote and I captured the feelings she would want me to feel. and by being here, with them, I shoudn't even THINK that this is gonna be a lonely birthday. because it was NOT. and it was because of them.

If you have best friends surrounding you, even across the ocean and when you dont have faith in yourself but they still there showing that there are things time and distance could not change,

If one of your whole-life dream is actually coming true and you're living your dream right now,

If you have the chance to connect and relate with people from all over the world,

If there are those who sincerely pray for your happiness, safety and for you to have the courage to go on,

man, your life is good. Sure there are problems here and there, sure you feel lonely every once and a while, sure some things maybe dont go the way you wanted them to, sure people still wrongly judge you and sure at some point life is still not fair.
but it is good. your life is good.

be thankful. :)

this is my reflection of being 21, being away from everybody, being wrong for almost all the time, being wiser after that, being a better girl, being a better me.

thank you to you all, for letting me sipping the merit and joy of life, for you all have add colors in my live, traces in my heart, and joy in my days...
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