Vie van Allegre

These days, I have been reconnected once again with someone from the past. Someone, who for a long time hold my being, my purpose, my dreams.
To think about it, he was the one who called the hard decision. I was simply accepting. I did not understand well that time but was too tired to question.

The only thing that makes me keep thinking is about how different this person has become in the past two years. He just suddenly popped up with different attitude, different way of speaking, different... face. Everything is different. And I feel like, I don't know this person anymore.

I used to think that there are certain things that are just meant to be. But clearly, that is not the case between me and this person. Still, I think that people who shared some piece of lifetime will remain connected through it. I just dont understand how time could... bring massive changes in someone else's life.

There are also people around me who warned me about being connected again with this particular person. I understand their good deed. But I wonder, if they too, understand that I need to believe that it was right to follow what my heart says.

But then again. Sometimes the head has to take control of our heart, yeah, yeah.

Well then enough with the sentimental posts! Let's move on to the happy ones!! Firstly allow me to fill in some updates on what I've been up to these days, on my long hiatus (4 months! FOUR months. Forgive me).

Theses
The theses. I am trying to working on it as joyfully as I can. I always think that theses should be an exciting project. You know, given that it is the biggest project to sum up your four, five or.. well to sum up your bittersweet university era. It should be your winning project, something you left as a legacy to your university. If you're lucky enough you can even use it for future reference. But as fun as it seems, it is undoubtedly quite stressful, especially when my good friends are having kind of rough time working on theirs.

So yeah, I have been working on mine for sometime now. I am writing about teenagers that sexually abuse others. Mm-hm. I guess the topic has explain itself clearly. I am writing about the juvenile sex offenders and I want to write about their heart. About what they feel, about what they think why they do what they did, not about what we, as the public, or me as a psychology student think of why they did that.

I hope that by the time I finished my theses, I will understand more and I can help other people to understand more. I hope that the professors who will test me out on theses defense would, for a brief of time, forget that they were there to A-B-C-D-E-me on my papers and presentation, but rather they were there genuinely to listen on what I found in the field. And I hope that they will be the best professors the university can provide me related to the topic, so that maybe, just maybe, what the research found will get to the people who have broader access to use the information, so that the theses in turn will be more useful than just another test I have to sit to get my degree.


Work
The school of Psychology wants everyone to do an internship period before we graduated, just so everyone has a glimpse of idea of how a working life would look like out there. So, I'm currently doing my internship with an international non-governmental organization called ChildFund and I assisted a project officer for Early Childhood Development for two months and then just recently transferred to Child Protection department under the same NGO. 

My work with ECD took me to have a closer look to early childhood education system in Indonesia, and I can't say that it is a good one. But efforts have been made to improve the system and I got a lot of insight and more things to think about before I went to sleep every night and I'm grateful for the chance given to me to learn. My work with CP still revolved around helping out to translate surveys and documents important for CP work with youth around certain locations, but I think by the end of this month there will be other works to be done too.

Then, I'm also taking part teaching at local children day care, Lovely Sunshine Daycare and assisting their corporate in-house program. The corporate in-house program provides daycare services for parents working in the corresponding offices and they can leave their children attended and well cared for while they're working. We do exercises and also art and craft classes, games and of course there are plenty of free play times.

I do enjoy the work at Lovely Sunshine! It brings back the memories of working for Wee Pee in Japan. Turns out kids are kids after all, wherever they are. :) Sure it is not an easy job, because you have to be responsible to whatever happen inside the daycare facilities, but the reward of having them learn and play a lot in a manner in which they are enabled to grow maximally way more than if they're left at home washed away the tiredness after working for 9 hours.



The Coffee (finally *giggle*)
So that's about all. Oh, oh, oh, and the work at Lovely Sunshine was even more exciting because I'm working with my friends, Dee and Pingkan. It was utterly exciting having them around, knowing that we can count on each other to make sure the daycare runs smoothly everyday. After our training Cindy and I (Pingkan was not there, too bad) was walking to the nearest TransJakarta shelter when we spot this homey coffee shop called The Goedkoop. You maybe can guess from the name, they are a Netherlands-inspired coffee shop, they even wrote their menus in Dutch!

At first Dee was reluctant, but since we really needed a good coffee and a place to sit for a while, we decided to come in. The interior was rather vintage inside, the kind I really liked when I would want to sit for a long time. The staffs were very friendly and greeted us happily. They handed the menu to us and explained that most of the menu was intended to be shared, that is, one portion would be a little bit too big for one person. They have a range of coffee and frappes and toast and pancakes, but since we just ate and was still full, we skipped the 'share menu' and I ordered a latte and Cindy ordered some earl grey tea for her and also a plate of poffertjes to bite on.



Food was okay, the latte was delicious. The poffertjes were a little too sweet for me though. And.. well I didnt taste the tea (not a big fan of earl greys) but Cindy was not complaining (which is very rare, since she's a hard critic on food and drinks) so I'll guess that the tea was fine too. Hahaha.. 



In my opinion the Goedkoop is a good place but it's a little bit pricey. I would comeback for their pancakes and their famous Bon Bon Koffie someday, but maybe not in the near time.
But, if you're curious and have some spare money to spend for coffee, you can visit them here:

Okay. Call this a sentimental post. This post is written in response to:

1. One of my good friend, who happened to be a Japanese, and who happened to spend his 10 days of  spring break here in Indonesia went home a month ago (sigh), leaving me missing Japan even more.
2. My home university happened to be so actively involved in maintaining friendship with KUIS (my uni in Japan) so they sent five of my juniors off to experience a two week spring course at KUIS. That, leaves me so miserable because I can't help feeling so envious.
3. I basically always miss Japan.

You can't stay at a place for a year without forming certain bond and felt attached to that place pretty strongly. At least in my case, I can't. I love my family, my friends, my life here and everything, but being in Japan -- as Jude said, is like living my dream. Being in Japan has brought so many new experiences and form so many good memories and at certain times it feels more painful than it usually is to accept the fact that I am no longer staying there.
So, I figure out that if I manage to write things about Japan, maybe just maybe, it'll ease the longing feeling a bit. Then here it goes, seven things I will always and forever miss about Japan!
What? Don't give me that look. I haven't been in another country with four seasons before and I experienced all those four seasons for the fist time in Japan. I miss that.

I miss the smell of spring. Flowers will literally bloom everywhere and there is no way you can miss it when spring really comes. Beside the sight of the famous sakura or cherry blossom, you'll know it's spring by the smell. And spring smells sooo nice.
When the Sakura's blooming, it only means one thing: Hanami!! Hanami literally translates to viewing (mi = viewing, looking ) the flower (hana = flower). It's an activity where people, families or friends or colleagues would sit together usually under a sakura tree and eat together, talk, drink alcohol (yeah! yeaah!), singing out loud or just simply adoring the beauty of Japan's most famous flower. Here's a picture of sakura tree in my uni and a Hanami we did that time. We were on school ground so no alcohol whatsoever and I guarantee everyone was sober enough to attend the next class. LOL. It was such a good time!!

Then it gets a little hot in summer, but summer means beaches and fireworks and watermelons and it was so great having everyone gather to hang out together. It's utterly HOT, that's true. But still, happy nevertheless.
When we are not so busy playing fireworks at the beach, Rini, Ho and I usually go to Fujiya, one of the well-known family restaurant in Japan and indulged ourselves with the marvelously delicious Fujiya Parfait! Those sweet little babies are definitely a survival kit to face summer in Japan! *grin*


When Autumn approaches, we have a loott of good things to enjoy. The leaves started to change colors, and the view was simply amazing. Whether you take a walk down the Meiji Jingu temple or take a day trip to Nikkou, the colors are just amazing. Autumn is chilly, and I remember that the food somehow tasted better,
Then here comes the winter. I experience the cold of winter both in Chiba, where the snow falls down as a frost, like pieces of ice falling down from the sky and also winter in Hokkaido, where the snow was more like a powdered snow, you can throw your friends with nice balls of snow and start a snow fight, build a snowman or simply just look at the stunning beauty of city covered in soft snow. Hokkaido looks almost like a... yuki-onna's (the snow girl, a ghost in traditional folklore in Japan) country of residence.
....
I'm kidding! There was no yuki-onna or ghosts alike involved. Hahahahha.. it was just because Hokkaido was entirely and literally covered in snow, it was freakin cold but it was beautiful indeed! I got -9C for the lowest temperature and, people, it's freezing. I'm a tropical girl, what was I supposed to do in a yuki-onna's place? I really can't believe what Aloince, Jenni and Jonne's going through with -30 in Finland. I'm gonna die.

One of my friend took Japanese Literature as her major and she told me a very interesting thing about the four season and how it is related to Japanese's attitude. Japanese are well known for their ganbaru spirit. I can't find exact translation for ganbaru, but it is a spirit that push yourself to your limit, sometimes even exceeds your limit. That each time you fall, you push yourself to get up. Each time you do something, you push yourself to give it your all, your best shot. My friend said that one of the reason why Japanese are so strong is because they stay in a place with four changing seasons and their country located geographically in an unstable climate and prone to earthquake and other natural disaster. Japan is a natural magnet for earthquake and tsunami, for goodness' sake. But been going through that disasters time and time again, Japanese are strong. Staying in a country with four seasons and experience them in a year trains you to be strong. And I miss that, always and will forever be.
Have I ever told you that Nihongo (Japanese) is a fascinating language? You know, you can learn about a country's culture by studying its language. Learn Nihongo, and you will be able to experience Japanese unique culture and understand a little bit more about its people's general characteristics. It is amazing because this probably is not something native Japanese will realize. But as a foreigner I learn the root of the language and it's crystal clearly explaining who Japanese truly are.

First of all, by learning Nihongo you will come to realize that Japanese are polite and they are the most unselfish human beings ever walk the earth. They will always think of someone else's sake first. They seek for harmony, living in peace with their friends and neighbors, respect others' privacy and try their best not to stick their nose unto someone else's bussiness.
Secondly, most of them are very reserved, they are not used to speak their mind or express their feelings, in accordance to their basic principle: living together in harmony. They fear that by expressing their opinion or feelings, they could create possibilities of conflict and ruin the harmony in their circle so they refrain from doing that.

That is what they believe..... BUT!

But believe me, learn Nihongo and you will be surprised. The language of Japanese is a language filled with emotion and feelings and has deep meanings. But sometimes, for native Japanese, they got so used to speak their own language, they kind of missing the root and the true meaning of it. 

For example, I lived in an international dorm run by a Japanese family and they naturally taught us how to behave well in Japan. So basically at Japanese homes you say "Ittekimasu!" when you leave the house and the people who stay in the house will reply "Itterasshai!" to you. I was so thrilled about this fact, I can't stop talking about it at my first day in class. Then my sensei smiled and asked me if I knew what "ittekimasu" and "itterasshai" means. I answered yes, it means "I'm going out" and "see you later". My sensei smiled again and said that the true meaning was not that simple. When you say "Ittekimasu" as you leave your house, you were actually saying "I am going out now and I will be back." and then, "Itterasshai" means "Please come home safely, and come home soon. I will see you later when you're back."
Who says Japanese are not good in expressing their feelings? :)

Another example, at Narita International Airport in Tokyo, you can see another proof why Japanese are actually pretty sentimental. I had a chance to travel to South Korea and when I got back, I entered via international gate. The writings in the sign looked like this



The Japanese writings read Okaerinasai. And the exact translation of that is 100% different with the English one that is written below the Japanese one. Okaerinasai does not mean "welcome to Japan" in Japanese. Okaerinasai means "welcome back (home)". 

This tradition goes back to this:

In Japanese homes, when you're entering the house after going somewhere, you say "Tadaima", which translates to "I'm home." The people inside your house will then reply with "Okaerinasai". It is a custom you do only when you are going back to places you consider home, like your house or if you are a member of certain club at school, you will also say that upon entering your club's room. You don't say "tadaima" when you are entering other people's house and of course you dont expect them to greet you with "okaerinasai".
See, the Japanese writings in the sign above is written in hiragana, which gives you the idea that it is actually intended to be read by Japanese. While the government welcomes foreigners by saying welcome to Japan, they welcome their own kin by saying welcome back (home).
When I first came to Japan, I see the sign and my eyes were automatically set to the English writings since I didn't really speak or read Japanese that time. But by the time I went home from South Korea, my eyes set to the Japanese writings automatically, now that I do read and understand what I read. To me, as a foreigner, the hiragana writings of "okaerinasai" means, "Welcome back. Now you know Japan is your home too."

I miss this. I miss speaking Japanese in my daily conversation and finding deep meanings in it everyday. I miss practicing my Kanji by staring at a lot of ads inside the train trying to figure out how to read the Kanjis. I miss listening to people speak in Japanese. I miss listening to the jokes, not being able to understand the funny part and ask a Japanese to explain and laugh after that. I miss being able to improve my Japanese skill each day by only staying in Japan. I miss Nihongo so much, always and forever will be.
This. Is. KILLING. Me.
For those who are not aware of it, Japanese Railway System is UH-MA-ZING. You can literally go around cities by trains, you know. They are precisely and nicely arranged in a way you can always find a train to go anywhere at anytime. Seriously. Oh, here's a very handy site enlisting all the schedules of all trains. In case you read this and get inspired to go to Japan, this will help you!

Staying in Japan is seriously comfortable. It is easy to go anywhere. Bus stops are connected to train stations and the craziest thing is their EXACT time of arrival and departure, it almost got at a scary level, really. Living in Jakarta for my whole life, I am so used to people, buses, trains and everything being not on-time that I developed the habit of sparing at least 2 hours to go anywhere. I mean, for example I'm supposed to have a class at 10 am, then I will have to leave house by 8 am, oh, make it 7 am. It is a bit better now that the Commuter Line is already working with better schedule, but, still.

In Japan, I was so surprised seeing trains arrive exactly, for example, at 10.12 am and depart exactly at 10.13 am. They do it every single day for every trains, you know. So it is almost impossible to blame the train if you are running late somewhere. Because you can always predict at what time your train will be arriving at specific stations.

That, makes your life SO MUCH easier. I don't have to spare 2 hours!! Just check the schedule and you'll be safe.

My home station is Makuhari-Hongo Station. It is around 5-7 minutes by bicycle from my dorm and is the closest station from where I stay. I miss going to this eki (train station). I miss hearing the announcement

"Makuhari-Hongou...Makuhari-Hongou desu." or "Mamonaku, ichiban sen ni, Mitaka houmen yuki ga mairimasu. Abunai desu kara, kiiro sen made ni o sagari kudasai."

This was one of the very first phrases in Japanese I remember, because I hear it almost everyday. I remember I did not really catch the phrase at the first time (yes, my Japanese was THAT bad) and I would go to class unconsciously reciting and mumbling "mamonaku..ichiban sen ni something something what was that again..." and Takeda sensei would automatically finish the announcement for me and I would look up at him and laughed. I remember then he would always told me that I was doing great and someday I would be able to recite the train announcement all by myself.

And he was right.

I miss going to the train station and took the train to various places in Japan. I miss the quietness inside the train, and all the ads I could use to practice my Kanjis. I miss coming home to Makuhari-Hongou station feeling so happy that I'm only 5 minutes away to my room. I miss this, always and forever will be.

#4 Kanda University of International Studies

I have super super dedicated teachers who apparently are exceptionally trained in teaching second tongue language to us, their students, and many of us were.. pathetic. Hahahaha..
Seriously, in my case I came to Japan being able to read Hiragana and Katakana without knowing what it means. Under their guidance, I could at the very least communicate daily with people and even got a 3 months job of translating Japanese once I came back here. To remember that I did not even know what a 'tanjoubi' means or the difference between 'tori niku' and 'buta niku', (that's chicken and pork, by the way) and see now that after a year I could develop my language skill this far... I think the uni along with every aspect of it (the program, the facilities, the teacher) deserve more than a "thank you".

There are 7 levels of Japanese classes at total in KANDA and they use a placement test before each semester begin to determine our levels. Me, obviously, was in level 1. My teachers use the mix of Japanese and English to explain things and when one of us was not that good with English either, he would download his student's native language's dictionary directly to his phone and use that to explain some difficult words.
The other teacher would call upon a senior student who spoke the same language with non-english speakers to assist  them.
Teachers would also always listen to us. They are very good with that, listening. They would correct our grammars every now and then but will always eager to listen, to advise and to encourage us to go on with our study.
They are one of the best teachers team I've ever encountered, considering that their students came from different parts of the world with different cultures but they still manage to teach everyone equally, nicely, perfectly. I heart them so much!

As for my uni, even though the other Japanese students kept saying that KANDA is small for a uni in Japan, I still think that... it's actually pretty big. I could probably put 3 or 4 Atma Jaya into KANDA's ground.
I miss walking in my school ground, seeing leaves changing colors, watching the other students play soccer, rehearsing their dance routines, playing rugby or simply chatting with friends. I miss coming to SALC, the English library which by the way is one of the coolest place ever in the whole KANDA universe. Hahahahaha..

I miss grabbing that delicious Creme Brulee and Cinnamon Rolls from Balcony Cafe for breakfast or during break between classes. I miss having lunch and indulge in some friend quality time with Rini at Lapaz Cafe and also miss the nice food.

I miss going to classes, learning Japanese and meet my teachers and my friends and learn together with them. I miss attending school festival, seeing all the foods from so many countries (because KANDA has a lot of language department, the student sort of selling food unique to their own'countries' depend on what language they're studying) and also watching all the culture festivals they held. I miss cheering for Akira and the rest of the soccer team when they had game at KANDA. I miss the euphoria and the chill we always feel after watching Step In (KANDA's dance club) members show their ability off in front of us.

I miss my Kyuudo and Kendou club! I miss My seniors and also the training. I miss their happy faces looking at us and encouraging us to train with them. I miss... I miss going to the clubs so bad.

I miss going to KAEDE lounge, the lounge in which international students would usually gather around for lunch. The lounge is mainly consisted of teacher's room and a big space with sofas and tables where we usually chat and, um, sleep, sometimes. I miss catching Jonne, and also Estela and Nayara, sometimes Marina and Jenni there at KAEDE. I miss our random lunch talk and the chaos the boys created over lunch break.

I miss building 7, place where I would always sit and reflect to almost everything. Building 7 is special because sometimes when I want to, or need to be alone I would climb to the top of the building where I have a nice view of the school and sit there on the green grass..just.. staying still there. It was also the place where Rini, Jenn, Achien and I rehearse our play for the farewell party. It was also the place where Rini, Jenn and I cried over the fact that we had to leave Japan.



It was rather dramatic, but the emotion was strong. The three of us sat there, around a week before our departure and we have this view of KANDA from above building 7. We recalled our memories, how far we have come, good and bad things that happened, funny moments and also our experiences. We talked about our job, we watch over the soccer team, the Kyuudo club and also some students who were there, down below in the green grass of soccer field. We hugged each other, thanking God we have each other and promised ourselves that we will go back here one day.

KANDA is very special to me. I miss KANDA, always and forever will be.

*note*: After that when we went back to the dorm this conversation happened with Akira. He was practicing soccer and apparently he got this nice view of three suspicious Indonesians on top of Building 7.

 Akira: "Um, by the way, what were you three doing up there in Building 7?"
Me and Rini: "You saw us??" 
Akira: "Yes. Clearly. What was that? you three rehearsing dancing move or what? Because all of you keep jumping and..."
Me and Rini: "........" HAHAHAHAHA. Did not realize we were that visible to everyone else. Sumimasen.
Presenting Aki-chan to you!!




uh-huh, she's my beloved bicycle. She is just perfect and amazing. She's been with me since the very first week of my stay in Japan. I bought her at Don Quixote (pronounced Don-Q-Ho-Tea in Japanese. Cute.) along with Rini's bicycle too. I named her Aki because I bought her in autumn and because the name "Aoi" (blue) is already taken by Rini. LOL.
I miss riding bicycle to, practically everywhere. To school, to the supermarket, to visit parks and to visit Jenn at her dorm. Even when I have to go by train I would still have to go by bike to the nearest train station.

I had this quite fun experience with Aki-chan. Estela and I went to hang out together in Tokyo and we parked our bikes at a place that is supposed to be the designated bicycle parking lot near Makuhari Hongou station. Little did we know that we had to pay 100 yen to park (we did not read kanji yet, seriously. we have no single idea about parking bicycle and paying for that). We went back to Chiba around 8 pm and..... our precious bicycles were... gone. MISSING! I was deeply worried because I know they had been towed by those guys at the "please-keep-the-city-in-order-and-clean" department. We searched and searched and searched and found our bicycles were in the darkest corner, along with some others and we have this green ticket saying that we have parked our bicycles at the wrong spot and they fine us 2,000 yen.

I dont know which feeling was the strongest. The relief because I still have my bicycle back, or the shock to pay 2,000 yen. It's around 200,000 rupiah by the way and it sucks to pay that much money only because you could not read the kanji. In the end we did not pay the fine though. But we messed up pretty bad with the dorm supervisor and she made us tell everybody about our mistake in attempt to embarrass us and so the other dorm members wont do the same mistake twice. She succeeded in her attempt to warn the other member but nowhere close to embarrassing me and Estela. Why, our fellow dorm members were supportive and they did not find it an embarrassing mistake. It was natural to do mistakes, and my dorm supervisor was just too selfish to admit that her dorm members consisted of people with low level of Japanese by the time we came to Japan that Fall semester.

By the time I have to go home to Indonesia, Aki has been accompanying me for almost a year. I had to let her go, I did not have other choice. I could've bring her back by shipping her but it would be no use because I can not use her here in Jakarta without injuring myself. Jakarta's street are not really bicycle-friendly. So I left her so my junior could use her and in hope that she will be a great company to Katrin, I let her go.

I miss riding my bicycle, always and forever will be.

#6 Wee Pee Day Care

I worked at Wee Pee Day Care for around 6 months as an English teacher. My main job was obviously teach English to young children aged 3 to 12. That was the happiest job I've ever done in my whole life. I talked with them, read them stories, played and dance and sing. I went to the parks with them and hanging out together, eating lunch and it was amazing. I dont even feel like I was working. I miss going to Wee Pee every week. I worked on Wednesday, perfectly in the middle of the week. I would always have this energy boost upon working there. Little children will came greet me in front of the door, hugged me and asked me to hold them tightly. They will jump happily and took my hand to start play with them.
The other teachers and staff will welcome me warmly, smiling and... I needed Wee Pee to keep me balanced with every other things I faced at school, at the dorm and they helped me fighting the homesick feeling I felt.
It was amazing, almost like finding a shelter after staying in Japan for a while. I got the job by the recommendation of one of my senior and I could not thank her enough for introducing me to Wee Pee day care.
Some weeks before my departure, it was Tanabata Festival in Japan. At Tanabata Day you will write a wish and hang it at a bamboo tree. I came in to Wee Pee that day and Hide sensei was grinning at me, as usual, and hand me this yellow paper. He said "Write a wish. It maybe works, you know." 

With all my heart, I wished for some more time to spend with Wee Pee kids and teachers.

Maasa Sensei, Hide Sense, Yuko Sensei, I really miss you guys. I miss the children, I miss working there.
On my last day at Wee Pee, they gave me such a pleasant surprise. They gathered up the children and everyone said thank you in English. Then they handed me this photo frame that could record voices. (Japanese stuff, dont get too surprised with those kind of thing. Japan got the cutest stuff ever! Hahahahha)
They have recorded the voices of the children and the teachers too, saying, "Thanks Ria, we will miss you."
Inside the photo frame were two pieces of photographs, of me and the children.
You can not believe how warm it makes me. I was all teary and Maasa sensei hugged me. I miss her, too much. And then Hide sensei was like "noooo don't cry!!" Hahahaha. I really miss his face and the way he lead the team. He is amazing.
On my last day in Japan, I visited Wee Pee for one last time. Hide sensei and Maasa sensei talked a lot to me, giving me advices, patting my back and hug me once again. They said that it will come a day when I will be back. That day, probably it will not be them who run Wee Pee anymore but that one thing I should believe is that Wee Pee would stay the same, Wee Pee would still welcome me home.
I dont know how it will be the same without them, but I do know that Wee Pee was one of my happiest place in Japan.

I miss that, always and forever will be.

And last, but not least,

#7 Staying in the Dorm
I miss staying in the dorm. Seriously. I might not always be in the good mood at the dorm and there were always problems and things happened, but never did I regret my stay at Bekka Ryou. I miss walking home and finding faces that were always glad greeting me "okaerinasai". I miss cooking at the kitchen or just hanging out at Jenni or Eden or Estela or Rini's room. I miss hiding in my room when I wanted to be alone. I miss the birthday parties we threw at the dorm and always miss our girls only movie nights. Word only would not be enough this time. Because that place, that building, with the people inside hold my memories, my gratefulness, my happiness, my heart.

I have never posted any picture of my dorm before. Now probably gonna be the right time. This is the common room. Tables on your right are internet corner, up to 8 people can use internet at the same time, and we are basically not allowed to have internet in our own room. On your left are the dining tables, we would always gather there for parties, playing cards, or simply chit chatting. The door on the left lead to the stairs to girls room and the corridor to boys room. Door in front of you lead to the kitchen.





The picture below is the front door. Rini took this picture for me not long after we arrived at the dorm.




My room was the 207. My neighbor was Estela at 206. It was the third largest room in the dorm. I took this picture and yeah it was a bit untidy but... well.


That thing that looked like a computer is actually a television. And the CJ7 character's doll on top of it act as an earthquake warning for me. Too often it will fell down with loud voice that would normally catch my attention. I like the room because I got two pair of windows (the other only got 1 pair) and I got a closet too for my clothes. I miss my room. :)

There are a lot of things I miss about Japan, really. I miss my friends mostly, who are by the way, literally scattered around the world. I only hope that my hands would be big enough to hug each of them tonight. All of us shared a moment in life that we will never forget. That's a big deal, and that makes them precious.

Musim panas, kupu-kupu hinggap di jendelamu.
Bingung, dia menatapmu yang sedang meramu.
Meramu apa? Jamu, katamu.
Yang akan kau kirimkan padaku saat nanti dingin menyerbu.
Mungkin jahe, usul kupu-kupu.
Lebih hangat dan harum untuk hatiku yang mulai membeku.
Ah, tidak juga, tukasmu.
Dalam jamu sudah kutuang seribu bubuk cintaku.
Masa begitu, ragu si kupu-kupu.
Hati-hati kawan, jamunya jadi batu.
Karena terlalu lama, terlalu lama jua kau ramu.

First of all, Happy New Year, people!! I hope your new year was reflective and fabulous in the same time and your first week of 2013 have many wonderful surprises for you!

So I had a MARVELOUS new year. Most of it accounted on my uncles who brought the whole fireworks you can get in the world to my house.
okay. Exaggerating. But it is true to some point! I think they kind of modify my house to a fireworks station or something. Not that I mind, I love fireworks!! :D
Then... we had corns and salmons and sausages and chicken satay so..... we had our first barbecue ever as a big family! YAY for those salmonsss!!! Slurrrrp. :9 :9

It was really fun having everyone around. I was in Japan last year, so 2013 was actually the first new year I was home without Dad there. I must say it was.... a mixture of emotions I am not sure I know how to name them. Sensing a little sadness, but also peaceful. It felt a bit lonely, but it was warm. I just thanked God so much that my family was still gather around in new year, and still choosing my house to do it, so it didn't feel like too much different. My brother was not here though, and that makes it 2 years in a row of celebrating Christmas and new year without him *sigh*.

Ever since I knew what new year was, it was the equality to family time, even when I am all grown up and have, um, had, boyfriend, new year is still family time. So I would most likely to be found chit-chatting around my family in new year and go out celebrate it with friends on January 2nd, er, 3rd, perhaps. So it was disappointing that my brother could not make it here but I know he's out there for a greater good so I won't complain.

My family and I prayed and sang together around 30min before 12am, and usually we finished it right on 12am so everyone will literally start screaming "happy new yeaaaar!!" and hugging everyone
*big time rush. there were little, tiny, small people aged 3-5 around. Need to keep an eye not to stumble upon them*
so.... we did. and my uncles and my cousins were just had fun with those amazing fireworks and then i looked at the clock in the kitchen and realized that...... it wasn't 12am yet. it wasn't new year yet. technically it was 10 minutes away before midnight.
so i laughed hard and tell everyone the fact that it was still December 31st and for a brief second everyone stopped and stare at me and my uncle asked:

Uncle1: It's not new year yet?
Me: not yet
Uncle1, Uncle2, Uncle3 and all cousins: WHATT!??
Aunties & my mom: Get over it boys. you spent half of your fireworks stock and it's not even midnight yet.
Uncles and all cousins: NOOOOO.

hahahaha.
But well, everyone was real happy and they looked like they didn't care it was not new year yet and continue with their "toys" for the next half an hour so i guess we were okay and the fireworks was really cool, it was one of the best i've ever seen in my life (probably because everyone was there) so i could say that i closed the year of 2012 around my family once again and it was really amazing and i would not trade it with any other new year's fun the world can ever offer me with.

so then, the resolution of 2013!!
I think that this year, I realized that my resolutions are actually made of one or two broad concepts, and that the rest of it... they're actually set of lists of things I want to do. It's kind of different with last year resolution. I guess to look at it, it's actually pretty simple. This year, I would want to move on from things I haven't yet and should have done from long ago. Now, most people probably would attribute it with moving on from brokenhearted in a romantic way, and yes I admit that it's one of them. But moving on also have this broader meanings of... taking steps, sometimes maybe painful to let go of things i couldn't have anymore. And to believe that the best is yet to come, in almost all aspects of one's life. Moving on from mourning of the lost of loved ones, moving on from old love, things like that.

So, moving on. That's one issue. Next, I would like to do one good deed a day. So far, it's been amazing. When I am committed to bring something good to other people, to nature, to everything around me, somehow in the end of the day I could always reflect to it. That no matter how hard my day was, there is this tiny piece of goodness I've done today, and it could make a big difference in my perspective of how hard my day really was.
So that one is highly recommended. I actually got inspired by her:






everybody, meet Zashiki Warashi. She is from Japan, and she is a ghost.
Yep, you read it right. This cute little girl is a ghost. Her name has the meaning of "child" and "room" in it. So basically her name means "child in the room". It was said that she is "child-like" in nature. She loves to play, sometimes get too excited and do all the mischief little children used to do.
the good thing is, this ghost is a sort of.. nice being. She brings joy and luck to people whose house she's haunting. It's been said that all her life both as a human (she was a little kid who died because of unknown sickness) and as a ghost, she always do good things, always strive for making people around her happy. Because of her child-like nature, it is also said that she is visibly seen by little kids who are still innocent. Although on many cases kids don't report of her presence because they did not realize she was a ghost (her appearance suggested that she was a child also so probably those kids thought that she was a friend of theirs)


I don't know if she really does exist. But the legend of her being nice to everybody, always do a good deed everyday and wants everybody around her feel happy kind of inspired me to do my second resolution this year. Well, that, and the fact that the world does need some goodness in it.

That would conclude the post of new year resolution! I'll see you around.
Be nice today, everyone :P

cheers,
Rey

Dear you, who's reading this at the moment,

Last Saturday, I happened to went to a shopping centre in Jakarta with my family to do some late Christmas shopping. We had some fun times and finally, tired and hungry, we went to the nearest food court for some lunch.
I quickly ordered my lunch, meatballs soup with rice and I saw the others were ordering their food in another stall. It was a Chinese food stall, and surprisingly everyone but me ordered their lunch at that stall.

I remember, I went back to our seat and my mum whispered,
"the guy who took our order, I think he has some mental disability."
I also remember, I responded with, "Really?"

This guy then came back to our seat and he confirmed all the orders once again. When I saw him, I realized that he was somewhat "different", but then, been learning Psychology for this past 4 years, I kind of used to...prevent myself from labeling anyone anything. So, noticing that he probably does have some mental disability, I ate my meatballs in silence.

Then it happened.

There were 5 of us and we used an extra chair just to put all the shopping bags. This guy saw that and he reacted by pulling another table so we have some good extra space. My mum and auntie tried to tell this guy that it was unnecessary to do that.
He did it anyway, stating it would be tiring to eat your lunch where you have no space to move.
Then my family start laughing, I stared at them, I wasnt quite sure what they were laughing about, then it turned out they were laughing at him.
I guess they laughed because he was so "weird", his speech was strange, he could not maintain eye contact, his pronunciation of words were unclear, and his body language.. it's stiff. Put those altogether inside one person and you probably understand why my family was laughing at him. They laughed even harder when this guy left.

I said, "He is a good kid, a very descent waiter, and he shows sincerity in working to serve his guests. Yes he is not perfect, why are you laughing at him?"
I was angry, naturally.
But my family did not stop laughing, naturally.

Somehow I understand. I learned the science of human mind and behavior, I know how society will act when they are faced with this kind of situation. I know that there is this certain stereotype about people with mental disability, or mental disorders and I know, that they looked funny in the eyes of others who perceive themselves as "normal".
On the other hand, understanding why they think like that doesnt make what they did is right.

I think this guy noticed that my auntie was wearing a cross necklace and he made an assumption that we were Christian, which is right, and he asked, "What is your Church? I go to *church name*"
Then the atmosphere changed so quickly. Everyone started to look like they're not comfortable with his presence. Suddenly they looked like they wanted to say "just..shoo. go away."

I started to -cant help it- preach on everybody about how rude they were.
I said, "he was working really hard. He tried to be friendly. What is wrong with you??"

Long and long after that, the guy came back and he gave us the bill (sometimes they do it here -- giving the bill first).
take a wild guess on what he wrote.
On top of the bill he wrote,

"Merry Christmas 20012 and Happy New Year 20013"

then, on the bottom part, he signed it,

"May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you, Amen,
-Samuel"

He blessed the people who could not stop laughing at him in the name of Jesus Christ.
He misspelled the 2012 and 2013, indicate that he probably didnt finish school. His writings looked like my little brother's writings when he was 5 or 6.

But on top of that, I thought he, of all people, is one of the most sincere person I've ever met. I thought it was a really sincere Christmas and New Year greetings.
He, more than most Christians I've met and known, show the image of his God clearer. Simply. Beautifully.

Then, this is part where it became even more.... wicked. As soon as I finished reading his writings, I heard a song, a gospel song I cant remember its title and I lifted my head, searching who was singing that. No one was singing, there was no music and... no one heard what i heard.
I would not force anyone to believe that what I experienced was real, because i have a hard time on believing it was real either.

But then there is this... peaceful feeling, more peaceful that anything I've ever felt and it spread some mysterious warmth in my heart and it was very beautiful, very peaceful I'm so at loss for words. It was just unexplainable.

I showed everyone else what Samuel has written in our bill and they got so quiet, but then their attitude was so much better toward Samuel after that, for which I'm so really grateful.

I dont know if Samuel really does know Jesus, I dont know whether he is really a Christian or not, I dont know if he really went to church, I dont know any of that. But I do know I've been blessed by God through him that day.

See, I've been facing some major problems in my life. Mostly involving friends who lied to me over and over again, and that I felt so lost, I did not remember why I chose to learn Psychology from the very beginning. That, would be because recently, my fellow student, a friend, committed suicide and I still thought that we, his friends should've been able to do something before he did that.

Those things made me completely in doubt, whether I am walking in the right direction or not. That my place was truly here at the university studying Psychology and somehow stuck with all the theories in my head but have no use at all to help a friend.

But through the meeting with Samuel today, I felt like God was talking to me.
It is for people like Samuel, it's worth it to study Psychology.
It is because there are still so many people like my family, laughing endlessly while Samuel trying to serve his best, that I am obliged to study Psychology.
It is because it's worth it to learn how to help people like Samuel to have an equal quality of life, or at least to ensure they are given the chance to have a decent life.
To become the extension of God's arms, to serve the Lord through those kind of things. 

It feels like God open my eyes that He has plans, and He is always right, including my placement here, at this particular university studying this particular major.
I told a priest at my church about this and he said, that Jesus revealed Himself in so many forms we often do not realize it.

He is the wind blowing your hair softly after the rain.
He is the hummingbird wakes you up in the morning.
He is the stars that you happened to see at the black night sky.
He is the snow outside of your window.

I think, God has just visited me through Samuel that day.
I think, I have been blessed.
And I think, I am responsible to share that blessing. So I'm writing this hoping whoever you are sitting there and reading this, will be able to feel the Peace, and that you too, will be blessed by the story. and look around, there are other Samuels around you.

This is my Christmas miracle. And it is the most wonderful Christmas present ever.
I hope you too, will find your little Christmas miracle. Because then again, Christmas miracles are applicable and accessible all-year round, it's the best offering ever made for us, the human race.

So, be blessed.
Christmas miracle is ready, at your service. You just have to look.

With prayers,
-Rey